? upbeat holiday music ?
? ?
[ "Candy Cane Lane" by Sia playing ]
? Take a trip down Candy Cane Lane with me ?
? It's the cutest thing I swear you'll ever see ?
? It's the best, so get dressed ?
? I'll impress you with the colors of the rainbow ?
? Take a trip down Candy Cane Lane with me ?
? It's so magical, let's go there in your dreams ?
? It's the best... ?
当他看到那些礼物时真是惊讶 TRUDY: ...so surprised when he saw all those presents
在圣诞树下，她就是其中之一。 under the Christmas tree, and she was one of them.
这房子原来是赫伯特·弗莱克肖所有的， Now, this house was originally owned by Herbert Flackshaw,
是谁在糖果藤巷开创了这个传统。 who started this tradition on Candy Cane Lane.
他甚至雇佣侄子奥蒂斯扮演圣诞老人多年， He even hired his nephew Otis to play Santa Claus for many years,
直到1992年他因危害儿童罪被捕。 until he was arrested for child endangerment in 1992.
哦，你们得看看这房子。 Ooh, you guys got to look at this house.
这所房子就是。。。 This house is the site...
你玩得开心吗？ HARPER: Are you having fun?
你玩得开心吗？ ‐ Are you having fun?
是的，我觉得这很可爱。 ‐ [ laughing ] Yes, I think this is cute.
它是。是 啊。 ‐ It is. Yeah.
哦，天哪，你讨厌它。 ‐ Oh, God, you hate it.
不，我不讨厌。 ‐ [ laughing ] No, I don't hate it.
宝贝，我可不是个大圣诞老人。 Baby, I'm just not a huge Christmas person.
我知道，我知道，但是。。。 ‐ I know, I know, but... [ groans ]
你怎么能不喜欢这些灯和装饰品呢 how can you not like the lights and the decorations
圣诞树呢？ and the Christmas trees?
你知道圣诞树是罪魁祸首吗 ‐ Fun fact: did you know that Christmas trees are responsible
平均每年有4人死亡， for an annual average of four deaths,
15人受伤 15 injuries
损失1200万美元？ and a loss of $12 million?
好吧，我明白了。 ‐ [ laughing ] Okay, I get it.
我想你说得对。 I think you made your point. ‐ [ chuckles ]
谢谢你让我喜欢圣诞节。 Thank you for trying to get me to like Christmas.
我爱你爱它。 I love that you love it.
我很满足于照顾别人的宠物 I'm just so content taking care of other people's pets
当他们去度假的时候 when they're away for the holiday‐‐ ‐ [ gasps ]
跟我来。 Come with me.
等等，我们要去哪里？ ‐ Wait, where are we going?
你认识这些人吗？ Do you know these people?
你在做什么？不，过来。 What are you doing? ‐ No. Come here.
计划还不清楚。 ‐ [ grunts ] Still not clear on the plan.
你能跟我说吗？ ‐ Will you shut up and follow me, please?
来吧。 Come on.
‐ [ scoffs ]
‐ [ Harper sighs ]
好吧，这对你有用吗？ Well, does this do anything for you?
这真漂亮。 ‐ This is beautiful.
我讨厌圣诞节你一个人。 HARPER: I hate that you're gonna be alone on Christmas.
我会想你的。 I'm gonna miss you.
嘿，我也会想你的。 ‐ Hey, I'm gonna miss you, too.
我们可以呆在这里。 ‐ We could just stay up here.
我会的。 ‐ I'd do that. ‐ [ chuckles ]
嘿！我听到你在上面。 WOMAN: Hey! I hear you up there.
我要报警了。 I'm calling the police. ‐ [ gasps ]
‐ Um... ‐ [ gasping ]
‐ [ both grunting ]
[ sliding ] ‐ [ Abby grunts ]
艾比？哈珀！ ‐ Abby? ABBY: Harper!
哦，天哪。 ‐ [ screams ] Oh, my God.
你没事吧？嗯。。。 Are you okay? ‐ Um...
我不知道。呃，我该怎么办？ I don't know. Uh, what do I do?
呆在那儿。我要把你弄下来。 ‐ Stay there. I'm gonna get you down.
可以。是 啊。 ‐ Okay. Yeah.
倒霉。 ‐ Shit. ‐ Uh...
[ gasps ] Oh.
你在外面干什么？ WOMAN: What are you doing out there?
哈珀！你在偷窥吗？ ‐ Harper! WOMAN: Are you peeping?
别偷看我。 Don't you peep at me.
哦，上帝！ ‐ Oh, God! [ yells ]
艾比？ [ air hissing ] HARPER: Abby?
‐ [ groaning ]
哦，天哪。你没事吧？ ‐ Oh, my God. Are you okay?
我太棒了。 ‐ I'm so great.
这里，这里。是的，是的，来吧。 ‐ Here, here. Yeah, yeah, come on.
我们得走了。来吧。 We got to go. Come on.
她来了。去吧。快跑。哦。嘿。 She's coming. Go. Run. ‐ Oh. Hey.
是啊，你最好快跑。 Yeah, you better run.
败坏。 Pervert. ‐ [ laughing ]
谁说你可以下楼来？ ‐ Who said you could come downstairs?
吉迪亚普。 Giddyap.
‐ [ both laughing ]
[ whooping ]
[ laughing continues ]
‐ [ Harper sighs ]
跟我来。 Come with me.
在哪里？ ‐ Where?
去我父母家过圣诞节。 ‐ To my parents' house for Christmas.
哦，真的吗？ ‐ Oh, really?
我要养宠物。 I've got the pets to sit.
哦，天哪，找个人替你掩护。 ‐ Oh, my God, get someone to cover for you.
我想。。。 I want to...
圣诞节早上和你一起醒来。 wake up with you on Christmas morning.
如果这还不能让你爱上圣诞节， And if that doesn't convince you to love Christmas,
我再也不提了。 I'll never bring it up again.
处理。 ‐ Deal.
是 啊。 Yeah. ‐ Mm.
[ "Jingle Bells" by Joy Oladokun playing ]
[ in distance ] ? Dashing through the snow ?
? In a one‐horse open sleigh ?
? O'er the fields we go ?
? Laughing all the way ?
? Bells on bobtails ring ?
[ door closes ]
? Making spirits bright ?
? What fun it is to laugh and sing ?
? A sleighing song tonight ?
? Oh, jingle bells... ?
你好。 ‐ Hi.
嘿。 ‐ Hey.
坐下来。 Sit down.
这是怎么回事？ ‐ What's going on in here?
我刚醒来想和你一起回家。。。 ‐ I just woke up thinking about going home with you and got...
圣诞节很兴奋。 very excited about Christmas.
哦。。。宝贝，你不必-你不必和我一起去。 ‐ Oh... baby, you don't‐‐ You don't have to come with me.
嗯，我想。不。 ‐ Well, I want to. HARPER: No.
不，不，不，不，我 No, no, no, no, I‐‐ [ sighs ]
我觉得昨晚我真的让你难堪， I feel like I really put you on the spot last night,
我理解你对圣诞节的感受 and I understand how you feel about Christmas
因为你失去了父母，而你没有 because you lost your parents, and you just don't have‐‐
不，不，不，我真的很想去。 ‐ No, no, no, I‐I genuinely want to go.
嗯‐嗯。 ‐ Uh‐huh.
我可以去见那些让我最喜欢的人。 ‐ I get to go meet the people that made my favorite person.
可以。 ‐ Okay.
但是谁来照顾这些宠物？ But who's gonna look after all those pets?
约翰会替我掩护的。 ‐ John's gonna cover for me.
我知道你为什么担心。 I know why you're worried.
但别这样。 But don't be.
圣诞节我都在家。 I'm all in on Christmas.
‐ [ inhales deeply ]
隐马尔可夫模型？很好。 ABBY: Hmm? ‐ Good.
是 啊。 ABBY: Yeah.
所以，对猫来说，你可以每隔一天去一次， So, for the cat, you can go every other day,
但是狗和鱼需要早晚被看见。 but the dog and the fish need to be seen morning and night.
嗯，好吧。哦，巴特勒的公寓呢 ‐ Mm‐hmm. Okay. ‐ Oh, and the apartment on Butler
有一把奇怪的锁，所以如果你摇动它， has this weird lock, so if you jiggle it,
它会锁住的，但你必须确保你做到了。 it will lock, but you have to make sure that you do that.
对。你在手机上干什么？ ‐ Yes. ‐ What are you doing on your phone?
对不起，我把一个绅士单独留在我的公寓里， ‐ I'm sorry, I left a gentleman alone in my apartment,
所以我在跟踪他，确保他离开。 so I'm tracking him to make sure he leaves.
你在跟踪他？是 啊。我跟踪每个人。 ‐ You're tracking him? ‐ Yeah. I track everybody.
如果国安局能做到，我也能。 If the NSA can do it, so can I.
他走了。对不起，你刚才说什么？ And he's gone. Sorry, what were you saying?
我都记下来了。 ‐ I wrote it all down.
它们是非常明确的方向， They're really specific directions,
但如果你需要什么，你可以打电话给我。 but if you need anything, you can obviously call me.
艾比盖尔，别担心。 ‐ Abigail, don't worry.
我负责几十位作家的事业。 I'm responsible for the careers of dozens of authors.
我能照顾几只宠物两天。 I am more than capable of taking care of a few pets for two days.
是。。。五天了。 ‐ It's... it's five days.
五天。我就是这么说的。 ‐ Five days. That's what I said.
再装满吗？你好。 WAITER: Refill? ‐ Hi.
我觉得我做了一个正确的决定，但同时 And I sort of think I made the right decision, but at the same time‐‐
什么是人造革？ ‐ What is Ultrasuede?
人造革就像是一种耐磨的布料。 ‐ Ultrasuede is, like, a water‐resistant fabric.
你好。 ‐ Hello.
我们在这里干什么？ ‐ What are we doing here?
你好。我能帮助你吗？ ‐ Hi. Can I help you?
是的，我来接电话。我叫艾比·霍兰德。 ‐ Yeah, I'm picking up. My name's Abby Holland.
哦，是的，当然。嗯，就在这儿等着。 ‐ Oh, yes, of course. Um, just wait right here.
我马上回来。哦，来点香槟吧。 I'll be right back. Oh, enjoy some champagne.
哦。 ‐ Oh.
非常感谢。 Thank you.
我喜欢香槟。 I love champagne.
我们到了。 ‐ Here we are.
我可以吗？是的，当然。谢谢。 May I? ‐ Yeah, of course. Thanks.
就在这里。 There it is.
不。 ‐ No.
艾比，你和哈珀的关系很好。 Abby, you and Harper have a perfect relationship.
你为什么要毁了它 Why do you want to ruin that
从事最古老的机构之一 by engaging in one of the most archaic institutions
在人类历史上？ in the history of the human race?
因为我想娶她。 ‐ Because I want to marry her.
好吧，你这么说，但你实际上在做什么 ‐ Okay, you say that, but what you're actually doing
是在欺骗你声称爱的女人 is tricking the woman you claim to love
把她困在一个不规范的盒子里 by trapping her in a box of heteronormativity
把她当作你的财产。 and trying to make her your property.
她不是电饭煲或蛋糕盘。 She is not a rice cooker or a cake plate.
她是一个人。 She's a human being.
不，不是为了拥有她。 ‐ No, it's not about owning her.
是关于和她一起建立一种生活。 It's about building a life with her.
她是我的人，我真的想让每个人都知道。 She is my person, and I really want everyone to know that.
我想这是一种看待它的方式。 ‐ I suppose that's one way of looking at it.
你什么时候去问她？ So, when are you gonna ask her?
我想在新年的时候做这个， ‐ I was thinking of doing it on New Year's,
但现在我要和她回家了。。。 but now that I'm going home with her...
我知道这很过时， I understand this is very old‐fashioned,
但我可能会请求她爸爸的祝福 but I'm probably gonna ask her dad for his blessing
在圣诞节早上求婚。 and propose on Christmas morning.
对不起，请她爸爸给我祝福？ ‐ I'm sorry, ask her dad for his blessing?
[ "Jolly Old Saint Nicholas" by Caveboy playing ]
坚持父权制的方式。 Way to stick it to the patriarchy.
做得很好。 Really well done.
? Jolly old Saint Nicholas ?
? Lean your ear this way ?
? Don't you tell a single soul ?
? What I'm gonna say... ?
天啊，我太兴奋了。 ABBY: God, I'm so excited.
我真不敢相信我终于能见到所有人。 I can't believe I'm finally gonna meet everyone.
我是说，我已经有十年没有家人过圣诞节了。 I mean, I haven't had a family Christmas in ten years.
还有，你不知道我的一个事实： Also, a fact you don't know about me:
我和父母相处得很好。 I am actually very good with parents.
好吧，有件事我们应该谈谈 ‐ Okay, there's something that we should talk about
在我们到我父母家之前。 before we get to my parents' house.
这是怎么一回事？ ‐ What is it?
你还记得这个夏天吗 ‐ Do you remember this summer
当我出来告诉我父母我们在一起的时候 when I came out to my parents and told them we were together
他们接受得很好？ and they took it really well?
是 啊。 ‐ Yeah.
好吧，那可不完全准确。 ‐ Okay, well, that wasn't entirely accurate.
他们不接受吗？ ‐ They didn't take it well?
不，不，不。 ‐ No. No, no.
嗯。。。 Um...
我没告诉他们。 I didn't tell them.
我正要去，然后爸爸告诉我们 I was going to, and then Dad told us
他要竞选市长， that he was running for mayor,
只是觉得时机不对， and it just didn't feel like the right time,
现在他想得到捐赠者的支持， and then now he's trying to get the support of this donor,
整个圣诞节都是为了给这个人留下深刻的印象， and our whole Christmas is about impressing this person,
这让我妈妈的压力比平时更大了，我只是- which is stressing my mom out even more than usual, and I just‐‐
我知道如果我现在告诉他们， I know that if I tell them now,
他们的反应会受到其他压力的影响， their reaction is gonna be colored by all this other stress,
对不起，我觉得这不公平。 and I‐I'm sorry, I don't think that's fair.
对你还是对我们。 To you or to us.
那你为什么邀请我？ ‐ Then why did you invite me?
因为我们今晚过得很特别。。。 ‐ Because we were just having such a special night, and...
好吧，我被迷住了，但那是因为我爱你 and, fine, I got carried away, but it's because I love you
我要给你一个如此美好的圣诞节。 and‐and I want to give you such a great Christmas.
你有一个非常好的开始。 ‐ You're off to a really great start.
我很抱歉。 ‐ I'm so sorry.
他们以为我是谁？ ‐ So, who do they think I am?
我的室友。 ‐ My roommate.
他们不认为你带来的是奇怪的 ‐ They don't think it's weird that you're bringing
你的室友在家过圣诞节？ your roommate home for Christmas?
不，因为我告诉他们你没有别的地方可去 ‐ No, because I told them that you had nowhere else to go
因为你父母已经不在我们身边了。 because your parents are no longer with us.
我不去了。 ‐ I'm not going.
听着，这真是个好机会 ‐ Look, this is actually a really good opportunity
让他们看看你有多了不起，多么善良，多么聪明。 for them to see how amazing and kind and smart you are.
你自己说的，你对父母很好， You said it yourself, you're great with parents,
所以他们会遇到你，会爱上你， so they're gonna meet you, they're gonna fall in love with you,
这样当我告诉他们的时候就容易多了。 and then that'll make it so much easier when I do tell them.
听着。。。 Look...
我明白了，好吗？ I get it, okay?
我问了你很多。 I am asking a lot of you.
但我保证我会把一切都告诉他们 But I promise I will tell them everything
假期过后。 after the holidays.
好吧，我们可以这样做。 ‐ Okay, we can do this.
五天了。 It's five days.
会有多糟糕？ How bad can it be?
[ "Jingle Bells" instrumental playing ]
我应该写些封面故事什么的吗？ ABBY: Should I have some sort of cover story or something?
哦，不，不。 HARPER: Oh, no, no.
做你自己。可以。 Just be you. ‐ Okay.
我是说，但不要，你知道， ‐ I mean, but don't, you know,
说我们在一起，很明显，嗯。。。 say that we're together, obviously, and, um...
你知道，也许别提你，呃。。。 you know, maybe don't mention that you're, um...
同性恋？是 啊。 ‐ Gay? ‐ Yeah.
是的，我想，实际上，最好还是避免它。 Yeah, I think, actually, it might be better just to avoid it.
但不要撒谎。 But don't lie.
你是个很坏的骗子。 You're a very bad liar.
不，我没有。 ‐ No, I'm not.
你好！ ‐ Hi! ‐ Hi.
等待。 ‐ Wait.
妈妈，你在干什么？ ‐ Mom, what are you doing? [ camera clicking ]
我开了一个Instagram订阅 ‐ I started an Instagram feed
让你父亲在幕后给选民一眼。 for your father to give voters a peek behind the curtain.
你妈妈快疯了！ Your mother's going viral!
‐ [ all chuckle ]
你好！ TIPPER: Hi!
BOTH: Aw.
看看你。 ‐ Look at you.
每次我见到你，你都变得越来越漂亮。 You get more and more beautiful every single time I see you.
妈妈，住手。 ‐ [ laughing ] Mom, stop.
你带遮瑕膏了吗？ ‐ Did you bring concealer?
是 啊。我是艾比。 ‐ Yeah. This is Abby.
嗨，艾比。 ‐ Hi, Abby.
很高兴见到你。 ‐ [ chuckles ] TIPPER: It is so nice to meet you.
我也很高兴见到你。 ‐ It's so nice to meet you, too.
谢谢你邀请我来。 Thank you for having me here.
没什么。 ‐ It is nothing.
哈珀的父亲和我总是乐于向需要帮助的人敞开大门。 Harper's father and I are always happy to open our doors to those in need.
爸爸在哪里？ ‐ Where is Dad?
呃，他在接电话。哦，好吧。井‐ ‐ Uh, he's on a call. ‐ Oh, okay. Well‐‐
哈珀！ ‐ Harper! ‐ [ gasping, yelling ]
哦，简。 ‐ Oh, Jane. ‐ [ Jane laughing ]
哦，我叫你不要那样做。 HARPER: Oh, I have asked you not to do that.
我知道。我没有听。 ‐ I know. I didn't listen.
哦。耶！哦。 JANE: Oh. Yay! HARPER: Oh.
我没想到你会在这里，但你在这里。 I didn't think you'd be here, but here you are.
哦，我不想再等一秒钟 ‐ Oh, I didn't want to wait one more second
去看我的小妹妹。哦，这是什么？ to see my little sis. ‐ Oh, what's this?
哦，我在换空气过滤器。它很粘。 ‐ Oh, I was changing the air filters. ‐ It's sticky.
谢谢你，简。 ‐ Thank you, Jane.
是的，嗨。你一定是艾比。 ‐ Yeah, hi. You must be Abby.
是 啊。很高兴认识你。你也是。 ‐ Yeah. Nice to meet you. JANE: You, too.
嗯。。。 Um...
我很抱歉你父母的事。 I'm so sorry about your parents.
哦，不。 HARPER: Oh, no.
呃，那是很久以前的事了。 ‐ Uh, it‐it ha‐‐ It happened a long time ago.
你真勇敢。 ‐ You're so brave.
哦。你不需要。 ABBY: Oh. JANE: You don't need to be.
简。妈妈，你能不能 ‐ Jane. ‐ Mom, can you just‐‐
可以。够了，简。 TIPPER: Okay. That's enough, Jane.
简，太多了。太多。你总是安全的 Jane, too much. Too much. JANE: You're always safe with‐‐
所以，这是我们的客厅。 ‐ So, this is our living room.
哇，那是一架漂亮的钢琴。 ‐ Wow, that's a beautiful piano.
不是吗？ ‐ Isn't it?
当然，我希望我的女儿们 Of course, I wish my daughters had bothered
去学弹它，但它看起来确实不错。 to learn to play it, but it does look nice.
我上了八年的课。 ‐ I took lessons for eight years.
这就是书房。 TIPPER: And this is the den.
你确定哈里明天晚上会在那里，对吗？ ‐ You're sure Harry will be there tomorrow night, right?
很 完美。 Perfect.
哦，呃，卡罗琳，我晚点打给你。 Oh, uh, Carolyn, I'll call you later.
我女儿刚到。 My daughter just arrived.
她来了，我完美的女孩。 There she is, my perfect girl.
嗨，爸爸。哦，看看你。 ‐ Hi, Dad. [ laughs ] ‐ Oh, look at you.
BOTH: Oh! [ camera clicks ]
嗨，爸爸。简，很高兴你来了。 ‐ Hi, Dad. ‐ Jane, glad you're here.
互联网一直有点不稳定。 The Internet has been a little spotty.
呃，又不是了。 ‐ Ugh, not again.
哦，这是哈珀的孤儿朋友。 ‐ Oh, and this is Harper's orphan friend.
哦。我是艾比。 HARPER: Oh. ‐ This is Abby.
是的，当然。嘿，先生。 ‐ Yes, of course. ABBY: Hey, sir.
可怕的。 ‐ [ sighs ] Terrible.
好了，好了。 There, there.
哈珀，我读了你关于那个参议员的文章。 Harper, I read your piece about that senator.
他必须辞职，对吧？ He's got to resign, right?
是的，我想这只是时间问题。 HARPER: Yeah, I think it's just a matter of time.
那是一个好作品。哦。 ‐ That was a good piece. ‐ Aw.
谢谢，爸爸。 Thanks, Dad.
你知道什么是真正好的吗？ ‐ You know what was really good?
嗯，感恩节那天你在食品银行的演讲。 Um, the speech that you made at the food bank on Thanksgiving.
哦，谢谢。你知道吗，那次演讲不是按剧本写的。 ‐ Oh, thank you. You‐you know, that speech wasn't scripted.
我只是想到了。 I ju‐‐ It just came to me.
你可以看出来。我是说，你非常 ‐ You could tell. I mean, you were very‐‐
好吧，够了。我们继续吧。 ‐ Okay, enough shoptalk. Let's continue.
可以。再见。回头见。 ‐ Okay. Bye. TED: See you later.
这是斯隆的房间。 ‐ And this is Sloane's room.
她是我最大的。 She's my eldest.
很多奖杯。 ‐ That's a lot of trophies.
对。 ‐ Yes.
她很聪明。 She was brilliant.
她和她的丈夫埃里克 She and her husband Eric‐‐
他在耶鲁大学以全班第一的成绩毕业 he graduated top of his class at Yale‐‐
都是非常成功的律师， were very successful attorneys,
但他们为了抚养漂亮的双胞胎放弃了一切 but they gave it all up to raise their beautiful twins,
现在他们做礼品篮。 and now they make gift baskets.
太棒了。 Which is great.
嗯‐嗯。 HARPER: Mm‐hmm.
我错过了什么？ ‐ What'd I miss? [ panting ]
真的。 ‐ Wow.
我知道，对吧？ ‐ [ sighs ] I know, right?
这里很热， Ugh, is it hot in here,
还是只有他？可以。 or is it just him? HARPER: Okay.
好吃，好吃，好吃。可以。 ‐ Yummy, yummy, yummy. HARPER: Okay.
不，简。不。 ‐ No. Jane. No. ‐ Num, num.
妈妈，我以为你会 HARPER: Mom, I thought you were gonna
把这个房间变成你的办公室。 turn this room into your office.
男人需要办公室，亲爱的。 ‐ Men need offices, dear.
哦，那是哈珀高中时的老男友康纳！ Oh, that is Harper's old high school boyfriend Connor!
我叫你把这个收起来。 [ laughs ] HARPER: I asked you to put this away.
你知道，他还是单身。 TIPPER: You know, he's still single.
好吧，妈妈，请住手。嗯。 HARPER: Okay, Mom, stop, please. TIPPER: Mm.
你有男朋友吗，艾比？ Do you have a boyfriend, Abby?
不。 ‐ No.
但我有。 But I have.
因为。。。我吃过很多。 'Cause... I have had many.
嗯，但不要太多；适量。 Um, but‐but not too many; an‐an appropriate amount.
实际上我刚分手。 I actually just went through a breakup.
哦，不，艾比。 ‐ Oh, no. TIPPER: Abby.
是的，嗯。。。 ‐ [ sighs ] Yeah, with, um...
他是一个-他是一个牛奶。。。伙计。 He was a‐‐ He was a milk... man.
好吧，我想我们现在就安顿下来。 ‐ Okay, and I think we'll just settle in now.
可以。好吧，我们带艾比去她的房间。 ‐ Okay. Well, we'll just show Abby to her room.
什么，她不会和我呆在这里吗？ ‐ What, is she not gonna stay up here with me?
哈珀，我绝不会让两个成年女人共用一张床。 ‐ Harper, I would never ask two grown women to share the same bed.
哈珀。 [ laughing ] ‐ Harper.
不，艾比会住在简的旧房间里。 ‐ No, A‐Abby will stay in Jane's old room.
哦，哦，我可以给她看看。可以。 ‐ Oh, oh, I could show it to her. ‐ Okay.
我可以干掉她。是的，我们走吧。 ‐ I could take her down. Yeah, let's go.
安定下来。我解决了！ ‐ Settle down. JANE: I'm settled!
可以。 ‐ Okay. [ door closes ]
哦。 ‐ Oh.
你的房间在地下室。 Your room's in the basement.
哦，是的。我怕黑夜上。 ‐ Oh, yeah. I had night terrors.
他们把我放在这里这样我就不会吵醒所有人。 They put me down here so I wouldn't wake everyone up. [ chuckles ]
看到。 Behold. [ chuckles ]
很酷，嗯？ Cool, huh?
非常酷！ ‐ It's very cool.
这是我的房间。 ‐ It's my room.
一切都好吗？ ‐ Is everything okay?
是 啊。是 啊。真的很好。 ‐ Yeah. Yeah. Really good.
不，不是你。不，哦。 ‐ No, not you. No. ‐ Oh.
是 啊。谢谢你，简。 ‐ Yeah. TIPPER: Thank you, Jane.
你为什么不在晚饭前回家休息一下呢？ Why don't you go on home and rest up a little bit before dinner?
可以。 ‐ Okay. ‐ [ chuckles ]
没有我就别玩了。 ‐ Don't have any fun without me. [ laughs ]
是啊。再见。 ‐ Yeah. JANE: Bye.
我很抱歉这一切一团糟。 ‐ I'm sorry about all this mess.
什么？不，这太好了。 ‐ What? No, this is so nice.
比你在孤儿院的房间好吗？ ‐ Better than your room at the orphanage?
哦，我没有在孤儿院， ‐ Oh, I‐I wasn't in an orphanage,
因为我父母去世时我才19岁。 'cause I‐I was 19 when my parents died.
哦。幸运儿之一。 ‐ Oh. One of the lucky ones.
好。。。 ‐ Well...
我会让你安顿下来的。 TIPPER: I'll let you settle in.
我们六点四十五分去吃晚饭。 We leave for dinner at 6:45.
可以。 ‐ Okay.
哦，门上有锁。 ‐ Oh, there's no lock on this door.
我们把它取下来是因为简总是害怕 We had it removed because Jane was always scared
我们会把她关起来。 that we would lock her in.
但别担心，你会有完全的隐私。 But don't worry, you'll have total privacy.
可以。非常感谢。 ‐ Okay. [ chuckles ] Thank you.
可以。 ‐ Okay.
[ "Nothing Rhymes with Christmas" by Ana Gasteyer playing ]
? Nothing rhymes with Christmas ?
? Every poet knows... ?
夫人。非常感谢。 JANE: Milady. ABBY: Thank you.
这样行吗？ COLLEEN: Is this all right?
这太完美了，科琳。非常感谢。 ‐ This is perfect, Colleen. Thank you.
哦，实际上，我想我们还需要一把椅子。 ‐ Oh, actually, I think we're gonna need one more chair.
我要带一个过来。 COLLEEN: I'll have one brought over.
哦，还有谁会加入我们？ ‐ Oh, who else is joining us?
嘿，伙计们。怎么样？ ‐ Hey, guys. How's it going?
康纳！在这里见到你真有趣。 ‐ [ chuckling ] Connor! How funny to see you here.
你告诉我7点到这里，对吗？ ‐ You told me to be here at 7:00, right?
嘘。哦，哇。嘿。你好吗？ TIPPER: Shh. Oh, wow. JANE: Hey. CONNOR: How you doing?
很高兴见到你，康纳。 TED: Great to see you, Connor.
嘿，特德。你好吗？伟大的。 ‐ Hey, Ted. How you doing? ‐ Great.
嗨，康纳。嗨，简。 ‐ Hi, Connor. CONNOR: Hi, Jane.
你好。有一分钟了。你好。 Hi. It's been a minute. ‐ Hi.
你好吗？是 啊。嘿。 ‐ How are you? ‐ Yeah. Hey.
康纳，这是哈珀的朋友艾比。 ‐ Connor, this is Harper's friend Abby.
哦，嘿。康纳。嘿。她是个孤儿。 CONNOR: Oh, hey. Connor. ‐ Hey. ‐ She's an orphan.
哦，嗯，我很抱歉。简。 ‐ Oh, um, I'm so sorry. ‐ Jane.
我什么？你在做什么？ CONNOR: I‐‐ ‐ What? ‐ What are you doing?
她是。不，是的 ‐ She is. ‐ No, it's‐it's‐‐
这是我们仅有的。 ‐ It's all we have.
好吧。 TIPPER: All right.
非常感谢。我们都坐下吧。 Thank you. Let's all take a seat.
‐ [ Harper sighing ]
你想换吗？不。 Do you want to switch? ‐ No.
不，这太完美了。可以。 No, this is perfect. ‐ Okay.
然后在第三章，影子梦想家 JANE: And then in the third chapter, the Shadow Dreamers
发现他们认为是在巨蜥体内的宝石 discover that the gemstone that they thought was inside the gork
实际上是被一个邪恶的弗洛姆偷走的，这有点像一个maggel was actually stolen by an evil floam, which is sort of like a maggel
但是用更少的武器和更多的力量。 but with less arms and more powers.
哦，哇。 ‐ Oh, wow.
太棒了。真的是。 That's amazing. It really is.
简，我真不敢相信你还在写那本书。 ‐ Jane, I just can't believe you're still working on that book.
差不多十年了。 It's been like ten years.
建造一个世界需要很长时间。 ‐ Takes a long time to build a world.
你知道我前几天在想什么吗？ ‐ You know what I was thinking about the other day?
我在想那次旅行 I was thinking about that trip
我们带到杰克逊洞的老房子 that we took to our old house in Jackson Hole
当哈珀得了水痘。哦，是的。 when Harper got chicken pox. CONNOR: Oh, yeah.
哦，上帝。 [ laughing ] Oh, God.
哈珀给我讲了这个故事。 ‐ Harper told me this story.
那你一定知道她很快就给了康纳。 ‐ Then you must know that she very quickly gave it to Connor.
是的，她有。 ‐ Yes, she did. ‐ [ laughter ]
很快。他们两个 CONNOR: Very quickly. TED: The two of them
整个旅程都没有离开船舱， didn't leave the cabin for the whole trip,
如果我没记错的话。不。哦，天哪。 if I remember correctly. CONNOR: No. ‐ Oh, my goodness.
在一个发烧的小屋里。 ‐ Literally in a cabin running a fever.
是 啊。一起。 TED: Yeah. ‐ Together.
一起。是的，是的。真的很开心。 ‐ Together. Yep, yep. TIPPER: Really laughing a lot.
那是水痘的归零地。 CONNOR: It was ground zero for chicken pox.
是 啊。天啊，真有趣。你知道，我真的， Yeah. God, that was fun. You know, I really,
真的很喜欢去旅行。有趣。 really loved going on those trips. ‐ Fun.
我们很喜欢你，儿子。真是太好了。 ‐ Well, we loved having you, son. TIPPER: That was lovely.
我们应该去女厕所吗？ ‐ Should we go to the ladies' room?
哦，我不想错过这些故事。 ‐ Oh, I‐I would hate to miss some of these stories.
不，我们会很快的。 ‐ No, we'll be quick.
我很抱歉。 ‐ [ chuckles ] ‐ I am so sorry.
我不知道他会在这里。 I had no idea he was gonna be here.
我发誓。 I swear.
很有趣，我记得你给我讲过那个故事。 ‐ It's funny, I remember you telling me that story.
我想你忘了提到康纳 I think you just forgot to mention that Connor
也在那里。我知道。 was also there. ‐ [ sighs ] I know.
我不知道，他似乎不是故事的重要部分。 I‐I don't know, he didn't seem like an important part of the story.
听着，我要和我妈妈谈谈，我会确保的 Look, I'm gonna talk to my mom, and I'm gonna make sure that
在接下来的旅程中不会发生这样的事，好吗？ nothing like this happens for the rest of the trip, okay?
你可以对我说实话。 ‐ You can be totally honest with me.
就像，任何事。 Like, about anything.
说真的，我可以接受。 Seriously, I can take it.
可以。 ‐ Okay.
那么你应该知道这是非常困难的 Then you should know that it is very difficult
吃饭时坐在你旁边却不能吻你。 to sit next to you at dinner and not be able to kiss you.
是 啊。 ‐ Yeah.
没有更多的惊喜。 ‐ No more surprises.
我保证。 I promise.
莱利。嗯。 Riley. RILEY: Mm.
哈珀。 Harper.
嗯。休斯敦大学。。。 ‐ Mm. Uh...
对不起，嗯。。。 ‐ Sorry, um...
莱利，我是艾比。 Riley, this is Abby.
艾比是我的孤儿。 Abby is my‐‐ ‐ Orphan.
室友。我们- Roommate. We‐‐
我是个孤儿，但我们住在一起。 I am an orphan, but we live together.
作为朋友，嗯，像熟人。 As friends, um, like acquaintances.
哦，请住手。是 啊。 ‐ Oh, please stop. ‐ Yeah.
很高兴认识你。 ‐ Nice to meet you.
所以，我就偷偷溜过去。 So, I'm just gonna sneak on by you guys.
哦，上帝。对不起的。 ‐ Oh, God. Sorry.
对不起的。只是。。。 Sorry. Just...
那是莱利吗？ ‐ Was that the Riley?
好吧，那不是我的错。 ‐ Okay, that one really wasn't my fault.
好吧，谁知道呢，也许。。。 ‐ Well, who knows, maybe...
也许你的另一个前女友会带甜点来。 maybe another one of your exes will bring out dessert.
可以。哦，天哪。 ‐ Okay. ‐ Oh, my God.
哈珀，你看到班纳特一家来了吗？ ‐ Harper, did you see that the Bennetts are here?
HARPER: Uh...
是 啊。我们刚碰到莱利。 Yeah. We just ran into Riley.
你听说她在约翰霍普金斯大学实习吗？ ‐ Did you hear she's doing her residency at Johns Hopkins?
我应该让她看看我的痣。 ‐ I should have her look at my mole.
不，呃，我没听说过。 ‐ No, um, I hadn't heard that.
令人印象深刻。 ‐ It's very impressive.
她的父母一定很自豪。 Her parents must be proud.
然后松了一口气。 And relieved.
我知道。那种生活方式的选择。 ‐ I know. That lifestyle choice.
嗯。真可惜。 [ Tipper chuckles ] TED: Mm. Such a shame.
艾比，你是做什么的？ ‐ Abby, what do you do?
哦，我在卡内基梅隆大学攻读艺术史博士学位。 ‐ Oh, I'm‐I'm working on my PhD in art history over at Carnegie Mellon.
我父母是那里的教授， My parents were professors there,
所以我想追随他们的脚步。 so I kind of wanted to follow in their footsteps.
在法学院之前， ‐ You know, before law school,
我带了一个月的钱去了巴黎。 I took all the money I had and went to Paris for a month.
每天都在博物馆里度过。 Spent every day in museums.
那次经历使我变成了现在的我。 That experience made me the man I am.
那一定是难以置信的。 ‐ That‐that must have been incredible.
真是个梦。 What a dream.
是的。 ‐ It was.
伙计，卡内基·梅隆，嗯？ Boy, Carnegie Mellon, huh?
我打赌你能教我一两件事。 Bet you could teach me a thing or two.
我要去那边吗？ ‐ [ chuckles ] JANE: Should I go over there?
不，亲爱的，不。 TED: No, darling, no.
我确实觉得它越来越大了。 JANE: I do think it's getting bigger.
不，待在桌旁，简。 TIPPER: No. TED: Stay at the table, Jane.
[ knocking ]
哦。你安顿好了吗？嘿。 ‐ Oh. You settling in okay? ABBY: Hey.
是 啊。是 啊。 Yeah. Yeah.
你是个很棒的主持人，所以我很好。 You're such a wonderful host, so I'm great.
谢谢你，艾比。 ‐ Thank you, Abby.
非常感谢。 Thank you.
你好。亲爱的，嗨。 ‐ Hi. ‐ Hi, sweetie.
你需要什么吗？ Do you need something?
不，只是想跟艾比说晚安。 ‐ No, just to say good night to Abby.
哦。 ‐ Oh.
妈妈，你介意吗？ ‐ Mom, do you mind?
哦。 ‐ Oh. [ laughs ]
我明白了。女孩说话。 I get it. Girl talk.
好吧，等你说完，嗯， Okay, when you finish, um,
我想早点送你一件圣诞礼物。 I want to give you a little early Christmas present.
哦，好吧。 ‐ Ooh, okay.
晚上好。晚安，艾比。 ‐ Night. TIPPER: Night, Abby.
‐ [ sighs ]
今晚不是最好的。 Tonight wasn't the best.
是 啊。 ‐ Yeah.
但我们挺过来了。 But we got through it.
你知道，你是对的。 ‐ You know, you're right.
你对父母真的很好。 You are really good with parents.
你觉得他们喜欢我？ ‐ You think they like me?
一定地。 ‐ Definitely.
你认为他们喜欢我就像爱康纳一样？ ‐ You think they like me as much as they love Connor?
哦，不。不，不。 ‐ Oh, no. No, no.
但他们都不太喜欢我，所以。。。 But they don't even really like me that much, so...
哦。 ‐ [ laughing ] Oh.
‐ [ Harper mutters ]
我爱你。我爱你。 I love you. ‐ I love you.
住手。 [ chuckling ] Stop it. ‐ [ laughs ]
到底是怎么回事？ JOHN: The hell did it go?
廉价的奇怪的拼图。 Cheap freaking puzzle.
[ cell phone vibrating ]
是啊，艾比，我现在正忙着呢。 Yeah, Abby, I'm in the middle of something right now.
一切都好吗？是 啊。 Is everything okay? ABBY: Yeah.
我只是检查一下动物。 I'm just checking on the animals.
哦，他们都很好。 JOHN: Oh, they're all good.
我遛狗。 I walked the dog.
喂他，喂猫。 Fed him, fed the cats.
一切都很好。那鱼呢？ All are well. ABBY: What about the fish?
嗯，鱼-是的。 ‐ Uh, the fish are‐‐ Yeah.
鱼是真的。是啊。 The‐the‐the fish are‐are‐‐ Yes. Yeah.
但我已经够了。 But enough about me.
你成功了吗 Have you managed
得到一个男人的许可去拥有一个成年女人吗？ to get a man's permission to take ownership of an adult human woman yet?
不完全是。 ‐ Not exactly.
发生什么事？你听起来很紧张。 ‐ What's going on? You sound tense.
不，我不紧张。我很好。 ABBY: No, I'm not tense. I'm great.
只有一件小事。 There's just one tiny thing.
嗯。。。 Um...
哈珀没出去，她父母不知道我们在一起。 Harper isn't out, and her parents don't know we're together.
好吧，你知道吗，我总觉得有什么不对劲。 ‐ Okay, you know what, I always felt like something was off.
你不能一年不见面 You can't go over a year without meeting
你另一半的父母。 your significant other's parents.
相信我，我试过了。 Trust me, I have tried.
我知道，但没什么大不了的， ‐ I know, but it's not that big of a deal,
因为她计划在假期后马上告诉他们。 'cause she does plan on telling them immediately after the holidays.
那么，怎么了，她的父母相信他们的直系女儿 ‐ So, what, her parents are believing that their straight daughter
带她的女同性恋朋友回家过圣诞节？ brought home her lesbian friend for Christmas?
不。 ‐ No. [ scoffs ]
不，他们还认为我。。。 No. They also think that I'm...
我是异性恋。 that I'm straight.
他们见过女同性恋吗？ ‐ Have they ever met a lesbian?
没那么糟。 ‐ It's not so bad.
有个秘密很有趣。 It's kind of fun having a secret.
是啊，我是说，没有什么比情色更性感的了 ‐ Yeah, I mean, there's nothing more erotic
比真实的自己更真实。 than concealing your authentic selves.
我知道这不太理想。I‐ ‐ I know it's not ideal. I‐‐
但我知道这是她现在需要的，所以。。。 But I‐I know that it's what she needs right now, so...
[ gasps ]
你是谁？ ‐ Who are you?
我是艾比。 ‐ I'm Abby.
你在这里工作吗？ ‐ Do you work here?
不，我是哈珀的朋友。 ‐ No, I'm H‐Harper's friend.
孩子们？ SLOANE: Kids?
你在哪？ Where are you?
嘿。 Hey.
你在这里干什么？出去。 What are you doing in here? Out.
但那是我们的房间。 MATILDA: But that's our room.
对不起他们。我是斯隆。 ‐ Sorry about them. I'm Sloane.
她为什么睡在那里？ MATILDA: Why does she get to sleep in there?
你好。我是。。。因为她已经长大了，亲爱的。 ‐ Hi. I'm... SLOANE: Because she's a grown‐up, sweetie.
艾比。 ‐ ...Abby.
来吧。我们在吃早饭。 SLOANE: [ in distance ] Come. We're having breakfast.
‐ [ yawns ]
你累了吗？ ‐ Are you tired?
不是我。我喜欢早晨。 Not me. I like the morning.
但是我有一些有意义的事情要起床，所以。。。 But then I have something meaningful to get out of bed for, so...
谢谢你，妈妈。 KIDS: Thank you, Mommy.
雪人薄饼。 ‐ Snowman pancakes.
天啊，这可真是太费劲了。 God, that's a lot of work for something that's just gonna turn to shit.
哦，但那有点像你的法律学位。 Oh, but that's kind of like your law degree.
如此自我陶醉一定很自由 ‐ It must be freeing to be so self‐involved
你没有意识到这实际上是不恰当的语言 you don't realize that's actually not appropriate language
在孩子面前使用。 to use in front of children.
我们把车里的东西都拿出来了。 ERIC: We got everything out of the van.
谢谢你，亲爱的。嗯‐嗯。 ‐ Thank you, honey. ‐ Mm‐hmm.
哦，这是艾比。我是埃里克。 ‐ Oh, this is‐‐ ‐ Abby. I'm Eric.
很高兴认识你。嗯‐嗯。 ‐ Nice to meet you. ERIC: Mm‐hmm.
一茶匙椰子油-给你的手增加一些水分。 A teaspoon of coconut oil‐‐ add some nice moisture to those hands.
哦。 ‐ Oh.
是的，谢谢。 Yeah, thank you.
所以，你和你妹妹很紧张。 So, you and your sister are pretty intense.
什么意思？ ‐ What do you mean?
别动！哦。 ‐ Freeze! ERIC: Ooh.
在我拥抱你之前别再动一块肌肉！ ‐ Don't move one more muscle before I hug you!
嗨，简。哦。哦，嗨。 ‐ Hi, Jane. JANE: Oh. Oh, hi.
哦。是啊。 ‐ Oh. Yay. ‐ [ Jane laughs ]
‐ [ Sloane clears throat ]
嗨，埃里克。你好。嗨，简。 JANE: Hi, Eric. Hi. ERIC: Hi, Jane.
嗨，伙计们。你好。 ‐ Hi, you guys. Hi.
嗯。。。 Um... [ chuckles ]
天哪，你这么大。 Gosh, you're so big.
你是什么，大学生？ What are you, college students?
我们在上小学。 ‐ We're in elementary school.
是 啊。不，我知道。我只是- ‐ Yeah. No, I‐I know. I'm just‐‐
你这么高，你知道吗？ You're just so tall, you know?
给你。我的孩子们。 ‐ Here they are. ‐ My babies.
哦。。。 Aw...
嗨，爸爸。你收到我寄给你的哈珀文章了吗？ ‐ Hi, Daddy. ‐ Did you get Harper's article I sent you?
是的。很好，对吧？ SLOANE: I did. TED: Good, right?
嗯。嗯-嗯。嗯。嗯‐嗯。 ‐ Mm. Mm‐hmm. Mm. ‐ Uh‐huh.
泰德。埃里克。 ERIC: Ted. ‐ Eric.
很高兴见到你。嗨，妈妈。 Good to see you. SLOANE: Hi, Mom.
你好。 TIPPER: [ chuckling ] Hi.
早晨。早上好，艾比。 ‐ Morning. ‐ Morning, Abby.
嘿，姑娘们，过来。我很好。你好。 Hey, girls, come here. TIPPER: I'm good. ERIC: Hi.
快过来。 ‐ Just‐just‐just come over here.
稍微动一下。我不敢相信 TIPPER: Just move a bit. TED: I cannot believe
我把我所有的女儿都关在一个屋檐下。 I've got all my daughters under one roof.
嗯，嗯。这是伟大的内容。 Mm, mm. ‐ This is great content.
哦。等等。等等。 ‐ Oh. ‐ Hold it. Hold it.
微笑。等等。 ‐ And smile. TED: Hold on.
爸爸。嗯‐嗯。嗯‐嗯。知道了。 JANE: Daddy. ‐ Uh‐huh. Uh‐huh. ‐ Got it.
可以。我要洗澡了。 ‐ Okay. I got to shower.
嘿，今晚是个盛大的夜晚，姑娘们。太过分了。 Hey, big night tonight, girls. ‐ That's too much.
我们要在聚会上会见一位主要捐赠者。 ‐ We're meeting a major donor at the party.
哈珀，我需要你带上你的游戏。 Harper, I need you to bring your A game.
知道了。爸爸，你需要我做什么吗？ ‐ Got it. ‐ Dad, do you need me to do anything?
亲爱的，不。 ‐ Honey, no.
你只要带着那个漂亮的家庭来炫耀一下。 You just bring that beautiful family and show them off.
谁知道呢？ Who knows?
他们可能是我们唯一的孙子了。 These might be the only grandchildren we ever have.
我们必须 TIPPER: And it is crucial that we take
今晚Instagram的家庭假日照片， the family holiday photo for the Instagram tonight,
所以，简，不要穿任何会频闪的衣服。 so don't wear anything that will strobe, Jane.
‐ [ Jane chuckles softly ]
[ sighs ]
可以。 Okay.
谁准备好去滑冰了？ Who's ready to go ice‐skating?
你准备好了吗？不。 Are you ready? [ chuckles ] ‐ No.
? upbeat holiday music ?
如果你们需要更多的空间，请告诉我。 ‐ Let me know if you guys need any more room.
我可以让自己变小。 I can make myself real small.
斯隆和埃里克，你们做礼品篮，对吧？ ‐ So, Sloane and Eric, you guys make gift baskets, right?
不。 ‐ No.
我们创造精心策划的礼品体验 We create curated gift experiences
手工回收木器的内部。 inside of handmade reclaimed wood vessels.
是的，船很漂亮。 ‐ Yeah, the vessels are gorgeous.
她有无可挑剔的品味。 She has impeccable taste.
哦，不，亲爱的，你有眼睛。 ‐ Oh, no, honey, you have the eye.
哦。嗯。 ‐ Aw. ‐ Mm.
听起来不错。 ‐ That sounds great.
格温妮似乎在想。 SLOANE: Yeah, Gwynnie seems to think so.
帕特洛。古普把我们接走了， Paltrow. Goop picked us up,
从那以后，销售额一直在飙升。 and sales have been through the roof ever since.
‐ [ Harper sighs ]
‐ [ lively chatter ]
嘿。 HARPER: Hey.
嘿。 ‐ Hey.
你确定你没事吧？是 啊。 ‐ Are you sure you're okay? ‐ Yeah.
不，这太有趣了。 No, this is so fun.
哇哦。 ‐ Whoa.
斯隆，你需要帮手吗？ ‐ Sloane, do you need a helper?
拜托。我总是绕着你转。 ‐ Please. I've always skated circles around you.
那是在你年轻的时候。 ‐ [ chuckles ] That was in your youth.
我是说，我今天已经绕了你12圈了。 I mean, I've lapped you like 12 times today.
好像我在努力。好像这很重要。 ‐ Like I'm even trying. ‐ Like it would even matter.
20块钱说我能在一分钟内跑两圈。 ‐ 20 bucks says I can do two laps in under a minute.
50块钱说我可以做三个。 ‐ 50 bucks says I can do three.
我们来吧。简，给我们计时。 ‐ Let's do it. Jane, time us.
哦，我真的很开心只是 ‐ Oh, I'm actually having fun just‐‐
简。好吧，有趣。是啊。 BOTH: Jane. ‐ Okay, fun. Yeah.
没问题。 No problem.
? tense music ?
准备好了吗？ JANE: Ready?
设置。 Set.
去吧。 Go. ‐ [ both grunt ]
‐ [ chuckles ]
快走！不！ ‐ Move! ‐ No!
我喜欢他们这样做。 ‐ I love it when they do this.
他们在做什么？他们在比赛。 ERIC: What are they doing? ‐ They're racing.
啊，是的。 ‐ Ah, yeah.
简，时间到了！哦，我忘了按“开始”。 ‐ Jane, time! ‐ Oh, I forgot to press start.
你们认为不告诉他们多久。 How long do you guys think‐‐ ‐ Don't‐don't tell them that.
你需要休息一下吗，斯隆？ ‐ You need to take a break yet, Sloane?
嗯，也许你应该 ‐ Huh, maybe you should just
担心你自己。哦，是吗？ worry about yourself. ‐ Oh, yeah?
[ yelps ] ‐ [ man grunts ]
哦！ ‐ Oh! ‐ Ooh.
‐ [ chuckles ]
[ yelps, screams ] ‐ [ man grunts ]
嗯。哦。 ‐ Mm. ‐ Ow.
我们应该阻止他们吗？ ABBY: Should we stop them?
不，他们最终会累坏的。 ERIC: No, they'll tire themselves out eventually.
是 啊。这是正确的。 ‐ [ laughing ] Yeah. That's right.
事情就是这样的。喔！ ‐ That's the way it goes. HARPER: Whoo!
放开我！ Get off me!
我爱你们。我爱你。 ‐ I love you guys. I love you.
不！你真是个骗子！ HARPER: No! You're such a cheater!
住手！你住手！ ‐ Stop it! [ shouts ] ‐ You stop it!
有点坐立不安。他们需要掉头。 ‐ ...a little restless. ‐ They're gonna need to turn around.
听着，你说来的时候我们有些人在这里。 ‐ Look, some of us were here when you said to be here.
简，你就是这么穿的，对吧？是 啊。 ‐ Jane, is that‐‐ That's what you're wearing, right? ‐ Yeah.
好吧。哈珀！ TIPPER: All right. Harper!
埃里克，你能让他们安静吗？ Eric, can you make them be still?
真 的。 ‐ Wow.
这是我早期的圣诞礼物。 ‐ It's my early Christmas present.
哈珀，请过来。 TIPPER: Harper, please come here.
亲爱的，我们很晚了。 ‐ Honey, we're very late.
泰德，全家度假照 ‐ Ted, the family holiday photo
是每个候选人的基本要素， is an essential element of every candidate's feed,
如果我们不能发布一个， and if we cannot manage to post one,
我们根本不应该对此负责。 we do not deserve to have that account at all.
好吧。起来，起来，起来，孩子们。这是真的。 TED: All right. Up, up, up, kids. ‐ That is so true.
简，从中间出去。快点，玛蒂尔达。 TIPPER: Jane, get out of the middle. ‐ Come on, Matilda.
哦。你必须站起来，亲爱的。 ‐ Oh. SLOANE: You have to stand, honey.
艾比，你介意吗？ TIPPER: Abby, would you mind taking that?
是的，一点也不。哦，谢谢。 ‐ Yeah, not at all. ‐ Oh, thank you.
好吧，开始吧。我们开始吧。向这边转过来。 ‐ Okay, here we go. Here we go. ‐ Around and face this way.
非常感谢。可以。 Thank you. ‐ Okay.
每个人都说“圣诞节” ‐ Everyone say, "Christmas."
不，别这么说。 ‐ No, don't say that.
只是微笑。 Just smile.
[ camera clicking ]
可以。 ‐ Okay. ‐ [ Tipper chuckling ]
啊，很好。我等不及了。 Ah, good. I can't wait.
模糊。真无聊。 Blurry. Boring.
不。不。不。 Nope. Nope. Nope.
好吧，这些都不行。 Okay, none of these will do.
呃，我们明天再试一次。 Uh, we will try again tomorrow.
非常感谢。艾比在哪？ Thank you. HARPER: Where's Abby?
? upbeat holiday music ?
‐ [ quiet chatter ]
特德，蒂珀。 ‐ Ted, Tipper. [ laughs, squeals ]
哦，我很高兴你来了。 Oh, I'm so glad you made it.
哦，mwah。哦。卡罗琳，你真是个幻想。 Oh, mwah. Oh. ‐ Carolyn, you are a vision.
华丽的连衣裙。姆瓦。 TIPPER: Gorgeous dress. TED: Mwah.
呃，你还记得我的女儿哈珀，简和斯隆。 Uh, you remember my daughters Harper, Jane and Sloane.
斯隆的丈夫埃里克。 Sloane's husband Eric.
他们的孩子马蒂尔达和马格努斯。 Their children Matilda and Magnus.
这是哈珀的朋友艾比。 And this is Harper's friend Abby.
被迷住了。这是我的助手列维。 CAROLYN: Charmed. This is my assistant Levi.
不过，说实话，再过几年，我们可能都会为他工作。 Though, truth be told, in a few years, we'll probably all be working for him.
哦，你太好了。 ‐ [ laughs ] Oh, you're too kind.
哦。白鲸在吗？ ‐ Oh. ‐ Is the white whale here?
啊，真的。让我带你过去。 ‐ Ah, indeed. Let me take you over.
哦，哈珀，跟我们来。 ‐ Oh, Harper, come with us.
呃，简，呃，呃，和艾比在一起。 Uh, Jane, uh, uh, keep Abby company.
你明白了。爸爸，我也要来吗？ ‐ You got it. ‐ Dad, should I come, too?
我马上回来。可以。不，亲爱的。 ‐ I'll come right back. ‐ Okay. TED: N‐No, honey.
只是，呃，玩得开心点。伟大的。 Just, uh, enjoy yourself. ‐ Great.
现在，哈利很坚强。 CAROLYN: Now, Harry's tough.
别让她扔了你。 Don't let her throw you.
我要带这对双胞胎去儿童俱乐部。 ‐ I'm gonna take the twins to the kids' club.
请给我点几杯饮料。 Please order me several drinks.
是 啊。 ‐ Yeah.
快点，伙计们。 ‐ Come on, you guys.
我们去玩吧。 Let's go play.
可以。好。。。 JANE: Okay. Well...
看来只有我们这些女士。 looks like it's just us ladies.
我不知道你现在是单身 Now, I don't know about you, but I am single
准备好了，所以。。。 and ready to mingle, so...
骚扰。 CAROLYN: Harry.
这是泰德·考德威尔。 This is‐‐ ‐ Ted Caldwell.
莱文女士，我很荣幸。 ‐ Ms. Levin, it is an honor. ‐ [ Harry chuckles ]
我要让你们两个去认识。 ‐ I am gonna leave you two to get acquainted.
可以。非常感谢。 ‐ Okay. Thank you.
这是我丈夫斯科特。 This is my husband Scott.
我们是在班布尔认识的。很高兴。 We met on Bumble. [ chuckles ] TED: Pleasure.
这是我妻子的小费。 And, uh, this is my wife Tipper.
我女儿哈珀，为 My daughter Harper, who writes for the‐‐
匹兹堡邮报。 ‐ Pittsburgh Post‐Gazette.
对。是的，我很熟悉。 HARPER: Yes. ‐ Yes, I'm familiar.
你看过她的作品吗？ ‐ You've read her work?
对。 ‐ Yes.
? 活泼的爵士音乐？ ? lively jazz music ?
嘿，能给我来杯纯伏特加吗？ ‐ Hey, could I get a vodka neat?
谢谢。 Thanks.
你是新来的。 ‐ You're new.
是的，我只是来看看。从哪里来的？ ‐ Yeah, I'm just visiting. ‐ From where?
我真的不想今晚见任何人，所以—— ‐ I'm really not interested in meeting anyone tonight, so‐‐
我是。 ‐ I am.
哦，我得去看看顾普。 CAROLYN: Oh, I'll have to check out Goop.
那是什么时候？ Was that‐‐ When was that one, again?
‐ [ quiet, indistinct chatter ]
你喜欢这个聚会吗？ ‐ Are you enjoying the party?
是 啊。 ‐ Yeah.
太好了。 SLOANE: That's great.
如果我朋友在我不认识任何人的聚会上把我甩了， If my friend ditched me at a party where I didn't know anyone,
我可能不会玩得很开心。 I probably wouldn't have a good time.
哦，不，她没有抛弃我。 ‐ Oh, no, sh‐she didn't ditch me.
不，她只是在帮你爸爸。 No, she's just helping your dad.
是的，她很有帮助。 ‐ Yeah, she's very helpful.
你和哈珀是室友多久了？ So, how long have you and Harper been roommates?
我六个月前搬来的。 ‐ I moved in like six months ago.
你搬到她家了？ ‐ You moved in to her place?
嗯‐嗯。 ‐ Mm‐hmm.
这不是一间卧室吗？ ‐ Isn't it a one‐bedroom?
从技术上讲，是的。 ‐ Technically, yes.
是的，嗯，那是一间卧室， Yeah, well, it was a one‐bedroom,
现在我们已经改造了餐具室 and‐and now that we have converted the pantry
我走进我的卧室，那是一个两居室。 i‐into my bedroom, it's a two‐bedroom.
嗯，那里真的很宽敞，而且- Um, it's really spacious in there, and it's‐‐
我不想再谈这个了。 ‐ I don't want to have this conversation anymore.
没问题。 ‐ No problem.
当市长不是一件小事。 ‐ Being mayor is no small task.
然而，这是一个我不仅准备好而且渴望承担的任务。 However, it's a task I am not only up for but eager to take on.
我马上停下来。 HARRY: I'm gonna stop you right there.
我有一个完美的记录。 I have a perfect record.
你知道为什么吗？ And do you know why?
因为我做作业。 Because I do my homework.
上次选举，我差点支持戴夫·格雷迪。 Last election, I almost backed Dave Grady.
戴夫·格雷迪？他的儿子不是 ‐ Dave Grady? Didn't his son‐‐
因走私珍稀动物被捕？ ‐ Get arrested for exotic animal smuggling?
对。 Yes.
我告诉你这些是因为我不只是看着你。 I'm telling you this because I'm not just looking at you.
这是一桩家事。 This is a family affair.
我可以向你保证， ‐ Well, I can assure you,
这家人没什么好隐瞒的。 this family has nothing to hide.
? 乐观的爵士音乐？ ? upbeat jazz music ?
嘿。嘿。嘿。 ‐ Hey. ‐ Hey. Hey.
你好。我能喝一口你的饮料吗？ ‐ Hi. Can I have a sip of your drink?
是的，当然。非常感谢。 ‐ Yeah, of course. ‐ Thank you.
嗯。你还好吧？ Mm. ‐ You okay?
嗯‐嗯。 ‐ Mm‐hmm.
我只是需要休息一下。 I just needed a bit of a breather.
非常感谢。 Thank you.
哈珀？ KELLY: Harper?
嗯！ HARPER: Mm! ‐ [ squealing ]
你好！ ASHLEY: Hi!
你好。 ‐ [ laughing ] Hi.
你看起来不可思议。 You look incredible.
一如既往。哦，天哪。 ‐ As always. ‐ Oh, my God.
你也是。天啊，伙计们。 ‐ [ exhales sharply ] You, too. God, guys.
哦，嗯，这是我的室友艾比。 Oh, um, this is my roommate Abby.
这是凯利和艾希礼。 And this is Kelly and Ashley.
哦，很高兴认识你。对。 KELLY: Oh, lovely to meet you. ‐ Yes.
我也很高兴认识你。嘿，伙计们。 Nice to meet you, too. CONNOR: Hey, you guys.
真 的。 Wow.
天啊，对不起，看到你们三个站在一起 God, sorry, just seeing the three of you standing next to each other
带我回到高中。 takes me right back to high school.
减去糟糕的自助餐厅食物。 Minus the bad cafeteria food.
‐ [ laughing loudly ]
你真有趣。 You're so funny.
呃，哈珀，我能和你谈谈吗？ ‐ Uh, Harper, can I talk to you for a second?
嗯，是的。 HARPER: Um, yeah.
我等一下。 I'll just be a sec.
我疯了，还是你完全不知道 ‐ Am I crazy, or did you have absolutely no idea
我昨晚是来吃饭的？ I was coming to dinner last night?
这是个惊喜。是 啊。 ‐ It was a surprise. ‐ Yeah.
是的，我想是的。 Yeah, I thought so.
嗯，很抱歉。不是你。 Um, sorry about that. ‐ It's not you.
但是，事实上，我很想。。。再说一遍。 ‐ But, actually, I'd love to do... that again.
如果你有时间的话，再出去玩。 Like, hang out again, if you got time.
听起来不错，而且，嗯。。。 ‐ That sounds so nice, and, um...
我只是不知道，呃，因为这里太忙了—— and I just don't know, uh, 'cause it's so busy and‐‐
是 啊。完全明白了。嗯‐嗯。 ‐ Yeah. Totally got it. HARPER: Mm‐hmm.
没有压力。是 啊。 ‐ No pressure. HARPER: Yeah.
但话说回来，如果你知道， ‐ But that being said, if you, you know,
你的室友想出去玩玩， and‐and your roommate want to get out and hang out,
那太好了。艾比。是 啊。 that'd be great. ‐ Abby. Yeah.
艾比。是 啊。当然。 CONNOR: Abby. Yeah. Absolutely.
嘿，如果她不跟他上床，我会的。 ‐ Hey, if she doesn't sleep with him, then I will.
[ giggling ]
我只是开玩笑。我永远不会。 I'm just kidding. I would never.
他肯定还喜欢她。 ‐ He's definitely still into her.
我知道。 ‐ I know.
[ cell phone vibrating ]
我应该。。。 ‐ [ sighs ] I should...
拿着这个。 take this.
你好？ Hello?
你知道你站着吗 JOHN: Did you know that you're standing
在一个乡村俱乐部里 in a country club that didn't let women have
他们自己的会员资格直到21世纪初？ their own memberships until the early 2000s?
你怎么知道的？ ‐ How do you know that?
呃，我可能在跟踪你， ‐ Um, I might be tracking you,
但这显然是为了你自己的安全。 but it's for your own safety, clearly.
你想要什么？ ‐ What‐what do you want?
我要你从壁橱里出来。 ‐ I want you to break out of that closet. [ camera clicks ]
我不在壁橱里。 ‐ I am not in the closet.
我告诉过你，哈珀会告诉她父母一切的 I told you, Harper's gonna tell her parents everything
假期过后。 right after the holidays.
你应该和某人在一起 ‐ You deserve to be with someone
他们在屋顶上为你呐喊着他们的爱。 who shouts their love for you from the rooftops.
太好了。 ‐ That's very sweet. [ toilet flushes over phone ]
所以别再当门垫了，你这个傻瓜。 ‐ So stop being a doormat, you fool.
你需要什么，还是打电话来羞辱我？ ‐ Did you need something, or did you just call to shame me?
我不是在羞辱你。 ‐ I'm not shaming you.
我只是觉得你的选择是愚蠢的 I just think the choice you're making is dumb
你应该为这件事和你自己感到难过。 and you should feel bad about it and yourself.
而且，我很喜欢这些鱼。 Also, I am loving these fish.
如果我想给自己买一样的， If I wanted to buy the exact same one for myself,
你觉得我会在哪里做？ where‐where do you think I would do that?
什么？ ‐ What?
你知道吗，我想我应该去谷歌一下。 JOHN: You know what, I think I should google it.
我去谷歌一下。谢谢。 I'm gonna google it. Thanks.
嘿。 ‐ Hey.
哦，嘿。嘿。 ‐ Oh, hey. Hey.
怎么样？伟大的。 ‐ How's it going? ‐ Great.
我只是暂时不去诊断每个人的神秘疾病。 ‐ I was just taking a break from diagnosing everyone's mystery illnesses.
‐ [ Abby chuckles ]
嘿，我不是想偷听什么的。 ‐ Hey, I wasn't trying to eavesdrop or anything.
你出来之前我就在外面。 I was out there before you came out.
你没看见我，但是。。。 You didn't see me, but, um...
我能理解。 I can relate.
比如，对什么？ ‐ Like, to what?
没有什么。 ‐ Nothing.
[ clears throat ]
没有什么。 Nothing. [ inhales deeply ]
可以。我要回去了。 [ sighs ] Okay. I'm gonna go back inside.
我肯定我妈妈的理发师想再让我看看她那奇怪的手指。 I'm sure my mother's hairdresser wants to show me her weird finger again.
所以。。。 ‐ [ chuckles ] ‐ So...
我喜欢你的夹克。 I like your jacket. [ sighs ]
可以。 Okay. [ shivers ]
非常感谢。非常感谢你。 [ applause, cheering ] ‐ Thank you. Thank you so much.
你们能和我一起欢迎吗 Will you all please join me in welcoming
我亲爱的，亲爱的朋友，特德·考德威尔议员。 my dear, dear friend, Councilman Ted Caldwell.
‐ [ cheering ]
非常感谢你。非常感谢。 TED: Thank you so much. Thank you.
这不是一年中最好的时候吗？ Isn't this the best time of year?
我是说，真的。 I mean, really.
我知道今晚我们都玩得很开心， I know we're all having a great time tonight,
所以我会简短地说。 so I will be brief.
我这辈子成就颇丰， I've accomplished a lot in my life,
在市议会为你服务 and serving you on the city council
就在那里，我最有价值的人生经历。 is right up there with my most rewarding life experiences.
但我已经准备好了。 But I'm ready for more.
‐ [ cheering ]
这是动荡的时代， TED: These are turbulent times,
我能确保堕落不会渗入 and the way I can ensure depravity doesn't seep in
穿过我们社区的裂缝 through the cracks of our community
确保没有裂缝。 is by making sure there are no cracks.
没有裂缝！ ‐ [ cheering ] ‐ No cracks!
看，我们的基金会是建立在家庭、传统和信仰的基础上的， TED: Look, our foundation is built on family, tradition and faith,
这是我们保持安全和强大的唯一途径。 and that is the only way we will keep safe and strong.
我喜欢当你的市议员， I have loved being your city councilman,
我迫不及待地想当你们的市长。 and I can't wait to be your mayor.
圣诞快乐。 Merry Christmas.
‐ [ cheering ]
[ camera clicking rapidly ]
? holiday music ?
[ cell phone chimes ]
[ camera clicks ]
[ phone chimes ]
‐ [ chuckles softly ]
我能确保堕落的方式 TED: [ on video ] ...the way I can ensure depravity
我们的社区没有渗透进来 doesn't seep in through the cracks of our community
确保没有裂缝。 is by making sure there are no cracks.
‐ [ cheering on video ]
[ distant door closes ]
看，我们的基金会建起来了 TED: [on video] Look, our foundation is built
关于家庭、传统和信仰， on family, tradition and faith,
这是我们保持安全和强大的唯一途径。 and that is the only way we will keep safe and strong.
[ TV playing indistinctly ]
嗯，为了鸡胸， MAN: [ on TV ] Um, for the chicken breast,
我们看了四分之一杯蜂蜜，记得用本地蜂蜜。。。 we were looking at a quarter cup of honey, and remember to use local honey...
[ footsteps ] [ TV continues indistinctly ]
‐ [ sighs ]
[ footsteps passing ]
[ phone chimes ]
‐ [ gasps ]
哇哦。 ‐ Whoa. [ whirring ]
倒霉。倒霉！ Shit. Shit!
来吧。来吧。 Come on. Come on.
不。闭嘴，闭嘴。哦，不。 Nope. Shut up, shut up. Oh, no.
[ clattering ]
哦！ Oh! ‐ [ screams ]
艾比，你在壁橱里干什么？ Abby, what are you doing in the closet?
我想我一定是梦游了。 ‐ I‐‐ Well, I guess I must have been sleepwalking.
哦，那太危险了。 ‐ Oh, that is very dangerous.
我曾经吃了太多安眠药， I once took too many Ambien,
我在网上买了一匹赛马。 and I bought a racehorse online.
哦。可以。 ABBY: Oh. TIPPER: Okay.
你得下楼去，艾比。 You need to go back downstairs, Abby.
可以。小心点。 ‐ Okay. ‐ Carefully.
是的，你可以这么做吗？ ABBY: Yeah, uh‐‐ ‐ Are you all right to do that?
是 啊。哦，天哪，我的手机也是。 ABBY: Yeah. Oh, gosh, my phone, too.
天啊，我当时真是发呆。我会得到所有这些。 God, I‐I was in such a daze. TIPPER: I'll get all this.
可以。继续。 ABBY: Okay. ‐ Go on.
嗯，我是 ABBY: Um, I‐I was‐‐
你想让我和你一起去吗？ ‐ Do you want me to come with you?
不用了，谢谢。 ABBY: No, thank you.
我很抱歉。 I'm sorry about this.
[ gasps ] ‐ [ Harper growls playfully ]
哦，天哪。 ‐ Oh, my God. [ laughs ]
你怎么下来的？ How did you get down here?
当我看到楼上的烂摊子时， ‐ When I saw that mess upstairs,
我知道我妈妈接下来的两个小时会很忙。 I knew my mom would be busy for the next two hours.
两个小时你想干什么？ ‐ What do you want to do for two hours?
我不知道。隐马尔可夫模型。 ‐ I don't know. ‐ Hmm.
[ birds chirping ]
嗯。 HARPER: Mm.
[ footsteps in hall ]
[ knocking ] ‐ [ both gasp ]
艾比？倒霉。 TIPPER: Abby? ‐ Shit.
性交。 Fuck.
艾比，亲爱的，你没事吧？ TIPPER: Abby, honey, are you okay?
嗯‐嗯。我-我-我-我很好。 ‐ Uh‐huh. I'm‐I'm‐I'm okay.
我不敢相信我睡着了。 ‐ [ whispers ] I can't believe I fell asleep.
嗯，我觉得有东西挡着门。 TIPPER: Um, I think there's something against the door.
嗯，我现在就把它搬走。 ABBY: Um, I'm just moving it right now.
对不起的。它很重。 Sorry. It's heavy.
早晨。 Morning.
你为什么把门堵住了？ ‐ Why did you block the door?
我不想再梦游了。 ‐ I‐I didn't want to sleepwalk again.
很抱歉打扰你。 ‐ Well, sorry to barge in.
这对双胞胎通常呆在下面。 The twins usually stay down here.
我只是给他们买简的老游戏机。 I'm just getting them Jane's old Game Boy.
早上好，孩子们。 ‐ Morning, kids.
早晨。艾比。 ‐ Morning. TED: Abby.
嗯，亲爱的，我要去办公室，但我想告诉你 Uh, honey, I'm headed to the office, but I wanted to let you know
我已邀请哈里·莱文和她丈夫参加我们的圣诞夜晚会。 I have invited Harry Levin and her husband to our Christmas Eve party.
什么？ ‐ What?
你听到她说的了。 TED: Well, you heard what she said.
这不仅仅是关于我。 ‐ [ Tipper sighs ] TED: It's not just about me.
是关于我们全家的事。 It's about our whole family.
还有什么能更好地代表我们的家庭呢 And what is a better representation of our family
比你的圣诞夜派对？ than your Christmas Eve party?
这是传奇。 ‐ It is legendary.
哇！ TED: Mwah! ‐ [ Tipper sighs ]
祝您今天过得愉快。你知道我会的。 TED: Have a good day. ‐ You know I will.
真不敢相信。 TIPPER: Can't even believe that.
客人名单上还有两个人。 That is two more people on the guest list.
我基本上要重新想象整个派对。 I basically have to reimagine the entire party.
伙计。 ‐ [ sighs ] Man.
找到了。 ‐ Found it.
好吧，来吧，你们两个。 Okay, come on, you two.
让我们看看。 Let's look at it.
非常非常接近。 ‐ [ whispers ] That was very, very close.
我们不应该那样做。 ‐ We shouldn't have done that.
哈珀，我们从早上5点45分就起床了。。。。这是最后一批。 ‐ Harper, we've been up since 5:45 a.m.... ‐ This is the last batch.
双胞胎已经自己做了一批饼干 ‐ ...and the twins already made their own batch of cookies
并装饰它们。不。 and decorated them. ‐ No.
我们在为聚会做这些。 SLOANE: We're making these for the party.
好吧，我走了。 ‐ Okay, I'm off.
什么？你要去哪里？ ‐ What? Where are you going?
呃，利维和当地一家花草小贩有关系。 ‐ Uh, Levi has a connection with a local potpourri vendor.
他会介绍我们的。 He's gonna introduce us.
伟大的。正确的。是 啊。 ‐ Great. Right. ERIC: Yeah.
再见，宝贝。 Bye, babe.
到处都是。 TIPPER: It just runs everywhere.
再见，孩子们。这是正确的。这是正确的。 ‐ Bye, kids. ‐ That's right. That's right.
再见，爸爸。 KIDS: Bye, Daddy.
简。哦，天哪。 ‐ Jane. Oh, my God.
我要做一个按钮。我能-不，不。 ‐ I'm just gonna do a button. Can I‐‐ ‐ No, no.
你不能装饰这些。但它们有扣子。 ‐ You can't decorate these. ‐ But they have buttons.
你不能吗？我想得到一个偶数。 ‐ And can you not? I'm trying to have an even number.
妈妈，我们什么时候能见到圣诞老人？ ‐ Mommy, when are we gonna see Santa?
亲爱的，我不知道我们是否有时间 ‐ Honey, I don't know if we're gonna have time
今年去见他。简，你不能吗？我只是- to see him this year. Jane, can you not? I just‐‐
哦，带他们去看圣诞老人。 ‐ Oh, take them to see Santa Claus.
这可能是他们最后一年见到他了。 This could be the last year that they see him.
为什么？圣诞老人快死了吗？ ‐ Why? Is Santa dying?
不，我们要死了吗？ ‐ No. ‐ Are we dying?
不。好吧，我带你去。 ‐ No. Fine, I will take you.
不管怎样，我还是需要一份白象礼物。 I still need to get a white elephant gift anyway.
你们拿到了吗？对。 Did you guys get yours? ‐ Yes.
是的，我在做一些特别的东西。 ‐ [ chuckles ] Yeah, I'm making something very special.
什么是白象？ ‐ Uh, what is white elephant?
哦，这是个礼物交换游戏 TIPPER: Oh, it's a gift exchange game we do
每年在我们的圣诞夜晚会上。哦。 every year at our Christmas Eve party. ‐ Oh.
我猜你不知道那是什么 ‐ And I guess you don't know what it is
因为哈珀忘了告诉你。 because Harper forgot to tell you about it.
我很抱歉。没关系。 ‐ I'm sorry. ‐ That's okay.
我今天可以跑出去拿一个。 I‐I can run out and grab one today.
伟大的。所以，你们可以跟斯隆一起去购物中心。 ‐ Great. So, you girls can tag along with Sloane to the mall.
哦。实际上，我告诉爸爸我要去他的办公室 ‐ Oh. Actually, I told Dad that I'd go to his office
帮他写今晚卡罗琳晚餐的演讲稿。 and help him write his speech for Carolyn's dinner tonight.
是啊，我真希望我能去， ‐ Yeah, I wish I could go,
但是，嗯，我得做最后的润色 but, um, I have to put the finishing touches
在我的圣诞礼物上。 on my Christmas gifts.
我想只有你和我。有趣。 ‐ Guess it's just gonna be you and me. Fun.
好吧，确保你们4点前都回来。 TIPPER: Well, just make sure you're all back here by 4:00.
没关系吧？ ‐ That's okay?
我们今晚要拍那张圣诞照 ‐ We are going to get that Christmas photo tonight
在我们去吃晚饭之前。 before we leave for dinner.
对。对。 ‐ Yes. ‐ Yes.
? 节日音乐通过扬声器播放？ ? holiday music playing over speakers ?
哦。嘿。 ‐ Oh. Hey.
嘿。你能看一会儿吗？ Hey. Can you watch them for a bit?
我得跑腿。嗯，圣诞老人答应过他们的 I have to run an errand. Um, Santa promised them
西尔维娅·普拉斯全集，所以。。。 [ hushed ] the complete works of Sylvia Plath, so...
这样可以吗？ Is that all right?
是 啊。 ‐ Yeah.
是的，是的，是的。 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
可以。非常感谢。 ‐ Okay. Thank you.
好好点，你们两个。 Be good, you two.
? playful holiday music ?
嗨，伙计们。你，嗯，想过来吗 ‐ Hi, guys. Do you, um, want to come over‐‐
想-来吧。 Want to‐‐ Come on.
? ?
[ chuckles nervously ]
今天早上哈珀阿姨为什么躲在你房间里？ ‐ Why was Aunt Harper hiding in your room this morning?
呃，我们在玩游戏。 ‐ Uh, we were playing a game.
像捉迷藏？ ‐ Like hide‐and‐seek?
是啊，就像捉迷藏。 ‐ Yeah, like hide‐and‐seek.
我们喜欢这个游戏。 MAGNUS: We love that game.
你们觉得这个白象游戏怎么样？ ‐ What do you guys think about this white elephant game?
我应该得到什么礼物？你能帮助我吗？ What gift should I get? Can you help me?
这个怎么样？ ‐ How about this?
那很好。 ‐ That is nice.
我在想也许每个人都喜欢。 I was thinking maybe something everyone might like.
就像，嗯。。。 Like, um...
我不知道，事实上，围巾也许不错。 I don't know, a scarf might be good, actually.
可能有人想要这个。 Someone might want to have that.
看起来像圣诞节。 Seems Christmassy.
哦。 Oh.
嘿，来吧。嗯。。。 Hey, come on. Um...
嘿，卡罗琳。 Hey, Carolyn.
嘿，很高兴见到你。 Hey, it's good to see you.
我是艾比。我们昨晚见过面。 I'm Abby. We met last night.
我是哈珀·考德威尔的朋友。 I'm Harper Caldwell's friend.
哦！哦，是的。 ‐ [ gasps ] Oh! Oh, yes.
是的，当然。 [ chuckling ] Yes, of course.
嗯。 Mm.
很高兴见到你。 It's lovely seeing you.
嘿，我真的很期待今晚的晚餐。 ‐ Hey, I'm‐I'm really looking forward to dinner tonight.
可以。可以。 ‐ Okay. ‐ Okay.
祝你今天愉快。回头见。 Have‐have a nice day. I'll see you later.
嘿！太太！ [ alarm blaring ] CRYSTAL: Hey! Ma'am!
哦，女士！女士，我们马上就来阻止你。 ED: Oh, ma'am! CRYSTAL: Ma'am, we're gonna stop you right there.
女士，把包放在地板上。可以。 ED: Ma'am, put the bag on the floor. ‐ Okay.
小姐，放下。太太！ CRYSTAL: Miss, put it down. ED: Ma'am!
把包放在地板上，滑到我面前。 Put the bag on the floor and slide it to me.
你想解释一下吗？我说过， You want to explain that? ABBY: A‐As I've said,
我没有把它放在包里。可能—— I did not put that in my bag. There might‐‐
哦，你没把它放在包里。。。哦。 ‐ Oh, you didn't put it in your bag... ‐ Oh.
但它最终还是在你的包里，所以这可能只是一个很大的误会。 ‐ ...but it ended up in your bag, so this is probably just a big misunderstanding.
也许它长出了腿，然后就走进了她的包里。 ‐ Maybe it grew legs and then it walked into her bag.
你检查过腿了吗，或者—— ‐ CRYSTAL: [ stammers ] Did you check it for legs, or‐‐
我还没检查它的腿。你还没那么做。 ‐ I haven't checked it for legs. ‐ You haven't done that.
我不是说它长了腿。 ‐ I'm not suggesting that it grew legs.
看起来不太好，亲爱的。 ‐ It's not looking good, sweetie.
匹兹堡，嗯？ ‐ Pittsburgh, huh?
是 啊。 ‐ Yeah.
你在这边干什么？ ‐ What are you doing down this way?
你在找工作？ ‐ You pulling a job?
偷鸡窝？ Jacking a roost?
那是什么？是啊，曲棍球 ‐ What was that? CRYSTAL: Yeah, hocking crank
打破坏习惯？ and breaking bad?
我什么都不做。砸抢？ ‐ I'm not doing any of those things. ED: Smash and grab?
我没拿走这条项链。真 的。 ‐ I‐I didn't take this necklace. CRYSTAL: Wow.
我相信你可以回顾一些录像。 ABBY: I'm sure that you could review some footage.
商场里没有摄像头吗？ Aren't there cameras in malls?
你在告诉我怎么做我的工作吗？到处都有摄像头。 ‐ Are you telling me how to do my job? ABBY: There are cameras everywhere.
你会后悔的。不。 CRYSTAL: You're gonna regret it. ‐ No.
你知道吗？好的。不，我不做任何 ED: You know what? Fine. ‐ No, I'm not doing any‐‐
你干吗不去做我的工作，帅哥？祝你好运。 ‐ Why don't you go ahead and do my job, hotshot? ‐ Good freaking luck.
你现在负责了。是 啊。 ED: You're in charge now. CRYSTAL: Yeah.
你能相信吗？不，我会让她唱歌，好吗？ ‐ Can you believe‐‐ ‐ No, I'm gonna get her to sing, okay?
前进。我要做这只小鸟 ED: Go ahead. CRYSTAL: I'm gonna make this little birdie
去推特，推特，推特，becau‐去吧。 go tweet, tweet, tweet, becau‐‐ ‐ Go ahead.
尤金。 ‐ Eugene. ‐ [ Eugene stammers ]
该死的。我们是‐你是‐什么‐ ‐ Goddamn it. We're‐‐ ‐ What are you‐‐
我听说这里有破车。 ‐ I heard there were Cruffins in here.
不。 ‐ No.
没有任何破烂。 ‐ There aren't any Cruffins.
没有，还是曾经有过？有吗？ EUGENE: There's not, or there were? Were there?
不，我们不在这里放食物了。不。 CRYSTAL: No, we stopped keeping food in here. ED: No.
爸爸，艾比不会这么做的。 HARPER: Dad, Abby would never do this.
快准备好，快，快， SLOANE: Go get ready quick, quick, quick,
因为我们现在迟到了。 because we're late now.
这不是谈话，哈珀。 TED: This isn't a conversation, Harper.
求你了，爸爸，请 HARPER: Please, Dad, just be‐‐
嘘！安静的。 TIPPER: [ hushed ] Shh! Quiet.
可以。我很抱歉。哦，我知道。我知道。 HARPER: Okay. I'm sorry. TIPPER: Oh, I know. I know.
我很抱歉。我很抱歉。 HARPER: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
不是我干的。 ‐ I didn't do it.
宝贝，我知道。 ‐ Baby, I know.
卡罗琳认为如果你在晚宴上会更好。 But Carolyn thinks it would just be better if you weren't at the dinner.
听着，无论如何都会很无聊的。 Look, it's gonna be so boring anyways.
你真幸运你不用去。 You're lucky you don't have to go.
过来。 Come here.
[ sighs ]
今晚晚饭后我们能出去玩吗？ Can we hang out tonight after the dinner?
我的朋友们想出去，我们可以和他们一起去 My friends want to go out, and‐and we can go with them
或者我们不能和他们一起去，但是。。。 or we can not go with them, but...
我只是觉得我们需要休息一下 I just think we‐we need a break
来自家族。 from the family.
是 啊， ‐ Yeah, s‐‐ [ knocking ]
哈珀，我们得走了。 ‐ Harper, we have got to go.
快点，我们要迟到了。 Come on, we're gonna be late.
可以。 ‐ Okay. [ sighs ]
回头见？嗯‐嗯。 I'll see you later? ABBY: Mm‐hmm.
可以。 ‐ Okay.
我很抱歉。 I'm sorry.
我们没能再拍到照片了。 TIPPER: We weren't able to get the photo again.
[ door closes ]
[ "Blame It on Christmas" by Shea Diamond playing ]
? Blame it on Christmas ?
? Why I'm out of control ?
? Oh, give me forgiveness ?
? For what's about to unfold ?
? 'Cause I just can't keep my cool ?
? While I'm tiding all of this yule ?
? Blame it on, blame it on Christmas ?
? Ooh, why I'm acting a fool. ?
嘿。 ‐ Hey.
我们又见面了。 ‐ We meet again.
是 啊。 ABBY: [ chuckles ] Yeah.
哈珀没有？ ‐ No Harper?
不，她，嗯，和她的家人在一起。 ‐ No, she's, um, with her family.
我一会儿就去见她。 I‐I'm gonna meet up with her in a bit.
你得到了什么？ What'd you get?
嗯。。。 ‐ Um...
哦，我不能告诉你，因为这是为白象党准备的。 Oh, I can't tell you, because it's for the white elephant party.
啊，你也要去吗？ ‐ Ah, you're going to that, too?
哦，是的。 ‐ Oh, yeah.
是啊，我家每年都去。 Yeah, my family goes every year.
是，嗯。。。 It's, um...
天哪，这是今年最好的派对。 God, it's the best party of the year.
‐ [ laughs ]
你知道吗，我很高兴遇见你， You know, I'm‐I'm glad I ran into you,
因为如果我把手指伸进眼睛， 'cause I'm having this thing where if I stick my finger in my eye,
真的很疼。 it, like, really hurts.
是的，我是说，这是一个典型的，嗯， ‐ Yeah, I mean, that's a classic case of, um,
接触性昏迷。 contact stupiditis.
嗯，因为这是一件愚蠢的事。 Um, because it's a stupid thing to do.
是的。一旦你到了 ‐ [ laughs ] Yep. ‐ Once you get to
在戳手指的阶段，你已经死了。 the finger‐poking stage, you're‐you're pretty much dead.
‐ [ sighs ]
我真的想喝点酒。 I'd really like to drink some alcohol.
你知道我在哪里能做到吗？ Do you know where I could do that?
对。 ‐ Yes.
‐ ? What is Christmas? ?
‐ ? Christmas is for caring ? ‐ [ scattered laughter ]
‐ ? What is Christmas? ?
‐ ? Christmas is for sharing ?
‐ ? What is Christmas? ?
? Can't you guess? ?
‐ ? Christmas is for ha... ?
? Penis ?
是的，你是。我希望如此。 RILEY: Yes, you are. ‐ I wish.
告诉我。我希望我有一个故事，比如—— ‐ Just tell me. ‐ I wish I had a story, like‐‐
你偷了吗？不。 ‐ Did you steal it? ‐ No.
我还没有一个白象礼物，最重要的是。 And I still don't have a white elephant gift, on top of it all.
你得去买一个。我在努力。 ‐ You've got to get one. ‐ I'm trying.
我会帮你的。 ‐ I will help you with this.
我知道很多地方不是商场。 I know a lot of places that aren't malls.
那太好了。 ‐ That would be great.
SINGERS: ? And when does Christmas come? ?
? And when does Christmas leave? ?
‐ [ laughter ] SINGERS: ? It comes but never goes... ?
昨晚你说你能联系上是什么意思？ ‐ What did you mean last night when you said you could relate?
这只是一个基于假设的评论 ‐ That was just a comment based on an assumption
我在说你和哈珀。 that I was making about you and Harper.
我认为这可能是一个准确的假设。 ‐ I think it's probably an accurate assumption.
你不用跟我谈这些事。 You don't have to talk to me about this stuff.
我知道这很奇怪，就像—— I know it's weird, like‐‐
那么，她跟你说了什么？ ‐ So, what has she told you?
你高中时约会过的。 ‐ That you dated in high school.
你是她的第一个女朋友。 That you were her first girlfriend.
就这样。 That's about it.
还有吗？嗯‐嗯。 Is there more? RILEY: Mm‐hmm.
是的，有一点。 Yeah, a little.
我是说。。。 I mean...
是 啊。 Yeah.
是啊，在成长过程中，我们是形影不离的。 Yeah, growing up, we were totally inseparable.
我们是最好的朋友。 We were best friends.
大一的时候，我们不仅仅是朋友。 And then, freshman year, we became more than friends.
我们开始约会了。 We started dating.
但显然没人知道。 But nobody knew that, obviously.
我们想，留下这些小情书 And we would, like, leave these little love letters
在对方的储物柜里。 in‐in each other's lockers.
有一天，哈珀的一个朋友发现了其中一封信， And one day, one of Harper's friends found one of the letters,
她问哈珀这是关于什么的， and she asked Harper wh‐what it was about,
哈珀基本上只是说我是同性恋 and Harper basically just said that I am gay
我不会丢下她一个人。 and that I wouldn't leave her alone.
几天之后，学校里的每个人都发现了， And then within a couple days, like, everybody in school found out,
每个人对我都很糟糕。 and everybody was so awful to me.
对不起，对不起。 ‐ I'm sorry, that's‐‐ I'm sorry.
是的，所以我能想到的是 ‐ Yeah, so the thing that I can relate to is just
爱上一个。。。 being in love with somebody that is...
不敢向世界展示他们是谁。 too afraid to show the world who they are.
但那是很久以前的事了。 But that was a long time ago.
是 啊。 ‐ Yeah.
[ music ends ] [ cheering, applause ]
谢谢您！ ‐ Thank you!
好吧，够了。 All right, that's enough.
接下来这首歌，我们需要你的帮助。 And with this next song, we're gonna need a little help from you.
我们要问你一个。。。 ‐ We're gonna ask you a...
问题。。。问题。 ‐ Question. ‐ ...question.
你要。。。 And you are going to...
给我们答案。。。回答。 ‐ Give us the answer. ‐ ...answer.
是 啊。很简单。 ‐ Yeah. ‐ [ laughs ] It's simple.
我们开始吧。 EM K. ULTRA: Here we go.
[ applause ]
? Who's got a beard that's long and white? ?
‐ [ patrons singing ] ‐ We're gonna sing. Ready? ‐ Mm‐hmm. Yeah.
‐ ? Who comes around on a special night? ?
‐ ? Santa comes around on a special night ?
‐ ? Special night ? ‐ ? Special night ?
‐ ? Beard that's white ? ‐ ? Beard that's white ?
所有人！哇哦。 MISS L'TEAU: Everybody! ‐ Whoa.
ALL: ? Must be Santa, must be Santa ?
? Must be Santa ?
? Santa Claus ?
不，不，什么？哦，天哪，不。什么？ ‐ No. No, what? Oh, my God, no. ‐ What?
哦，我们现在要更亲密一点了。 ‐ Oh, we're gonna get a little more intimate now.
对！ RILEY: Yes!
‐ ? Who's got boots and a suit of red? ?
‐ [ laughs ] ‐ Oh... [ laughs ]
来吧，你想听她唱歌，对吧？ Come on, you want to hear her sing, right?
是的，我们想听她唱歌。 MISS L'TEAU: Yeah. Yeah, we want to hear her sing. ‐ [ cheering ]
EM K. ULTRA: ? Who's got boots and a suit of red? ? ‐ I'll help you.
ABBY and RILEY: ? Santa's got boots and a suit of red ?
EM K. ULTRA: Yeah, perfect! MISS L'TEAU: ? Who's got a long cap on his head? ?
ALL: ? Santa's got a long cap on his head ?
EM K. ULTRA: ? On his head ? OTHERS: ? On his head ?
SINGERS: ? Suit of red ? PATRONS: ? Suit of red ?
ALL: ? Must be Santa, must be Santa ?
? Must be Santa ?
? Santa Claus ?
? Must be Santa ?
? Must be Santa ? [ cell phone chimes ]
? Must be Santa... ?
嗯，我应该-我应该结束。 ‐ Um, I should‐‐ I should close out.
是哈珀发短信给我的。 It's‐‐ Harper texted me.
哦。对。 ‐ Oh. ‐ Yes.
PATRONS: ? Santa's got a beard that's long... ?
? lively dance music ?
在广场上。 ASHLEY: ...of the square.
在广场顶端的那个人。 The guy at the top of the square.
这就是商业模式。 That's the business model.
太棒了。 It's brilliant.
你好。 ‐ Hi.
哦，艾比来了。镜头，镜头，镜头。 ‐ Oh, Abby's here. CONNOR: Shots, shots, shots.
你们准备好了吗？今晚怎么样？ You guys ready? ‐ How was‐‐ How was tonight?
镜头！哦，开枪。太棒了。很好。 ‐ Shots! ‐ Oh, shots. ABBY: It was great. It was good.
好吧，我想我去喝杯啤酒。镜头，镜头，镜头，镜头。 All right, I think I'm gonna grab a beer. ASHLEY: Shots, shots, shots, shots.
不，不，不。不，艾比，艾比，嘿。 ‐ No, no, no, no. CONNOR: No, Abby, Abby, hey.
在这个地方不能保持清醒。 Cannot be at this place sober.
准备好了吗？干杯。阿什利和干杯。 It's a‐‐ Ready? Cheers. ASHLEY and KELLY: Cheers.
眼睛，眼睛。眼睛，眼睛。 ‐ Eyes, eyes. ‐ Eyes, eyes.
眼睛，眼睛，眼睛，眼睛，眼睛，眼睛，眼睛，眼睛，眼睛，眼睛，眼睛。 ‐ Eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes.
一，二，三。去吧。 CONNOR: One, two, three. Go.
[ music ends ] ‐ Oh!
好吧，我需要一些音乐。你吃晚餐了吗？ ‐ Okay, I need some music. HARPER: Did you have dinner?
来，来，来，来，来。是 啊。 ASHLEY: Come, come, come, come, come. ABBY: Yeah.
等待。好的，我马上回来。 ‐ Wait. Okay, I'll come right back.
? lively dance music ?
你过得很糟糕吗？ Are you having the most terrible time?
不。 ‐ No.
不，我只是累了。 No, I'm‐I'm just tired.
可以。我真的很累。 ‐ Okay. ‐ I'm really tired.
我想我要走了。 I think I'm gonna go.
哦，不。 ‐ Oh, no.
Uh...
我有点想多呆一会儿。 [ sighs ] I kind of want to stay a little bit longer.
这样可以吗？ Is that okay?
‐ [ laughter ]
是的，你应该-是的，当然。 ‐ Yeah, you should‐‐ Yes, of course.
是 啊。是的，我只是-是吗？ Yeah. Yeah, I'm just‐‐ ‐ Yeah?
你确定？嗯。 Are you sure? ‐ Mm.
可以。 ‐ Okay.
你会回家的好吗？ And you'll get home okay?
我不会迟到的。 I won't be out late.
可以。 Okay.
你回家后给我发短信。 Text me when you get home.
嘿。 CONNOR: Hey.
你呢？ How about you?
你不会的。你不会的。 You won't. You won't.
她会的。你不会的。你不会的。你不会的。 She will. You won't. You won't. KELLY: You won't.
[ over speakers ] ? Hey ?
? What are we doing? ?
‐ [ quiet chatter ]
? Don't you remem... ?
嗯，那很有趣。 CONNOR: Well, that was fun.
嘘。是 啊。 HARPER: Whew. Yeah.
[ Connor groans ] [ Harper sighs ]
我很高兴你出来了。是 啊。 ‐ I'm glad you came out. ‐ Yeah.
你知道，自从我们开始这么做已经有一分钟了。 ‐ It's been a minute, you know, since we've gotten to do this.
因为我们 Like, since we‐‐
嗯，你知道的。 Well, you know.
我想你了。 I've missed you.
不，很高兴能赶上。 ‐ No, it's nice to catch up.
是 啊。 ‐ Yeah.
[ takes deep breath ]
好吧，我就是那样。 ‐ Well, I'm that way.
哦，该死。你在哪？ ‐ Oh, darn. ‐ Where are you?
我在那边。 ‐ I'm that way. [ laughs ]
晚安。晚安。 ‐ Good night. ‐ Good night.
很高兴见到你。 It was great seeing you. ‐ [ grunts ]
‐ [ clears throat ] ‐ [ Harper chuckles ]
‐ [ sighs ]
嘿，哈珀，还有其他人吗？ Hey, Harper, was there someone else?
什么意思？ ‐ What do you mean?
这就是我们分手的原因吗？ ‐ Is that why we broke up?
不。 ‐ No.
不，我是说，我告诉过你 No, I mean, I‐I told you that the long distance
只是太难了—— just got too hard and‐‐
距离。是的，我知道，我知道。 ‐ The distance. Yeah, I know, I know.
我知道。 I know.
[ sighs ]
我不知道。只是。。。 I don't know. Just...
总觉得有点。。。 kind of always felt like there was something...
感觉好像有些事你没告诉我。 Kind of felt like there was something you weren't telling me.
没有其他人了。 ‐ There wasn't someone else.
嘿。 ABBY: [ whispers ] Hey.
发生了什么？ ‐ What's wrong?
只是确保你没事。 ‐ Just making sure you're okay.
为什么我不会呢？ ‐ Why wouldn't I be?
我不知道，你没有回答我，所以我- ‐ I don't know, you weren't answering me, so I was‐‐
我知道，但你知道我和朋友出去了。 ‐ I‐I know, but you‐you knew I was out with my friends.
是的，但是，我是说，我不知道 ‐ Yeah, but, I mean, I didn't know that
你要在外面呆到凌晨2点， you were gonna be out till 2:00 in the morning,
所以我只是来看看你。 so I'm just checking on you.
可以。 ‐ Okay.
我很抱歉。我不知道我有宵禁。 [ chuckles ] I'm sorry. I didn't know I had a curfew.
你怎么了？ ‐ What is going on with you?
没有什么。I‐ ‐ Nothing. I‐‐
没有什么。 Nothing.
我只是不知道你为什么盯着我。 I just don't know why you're keeping tabs on me.
监视你？是 啊。 ‐ Keeping tabs on you? ‐ Yeah.
只是 It just‐‐
[ sighs ]
什么？ ‐ What?
只是感觉有点。。。令人窒息。 ‐ It just feels a little... suffocating.
我让你窒息了？ ‐ I'm suffocating you?
或者不是，但只是—— ‐ Or not, but just‐‐
嗯，我在壁橱里真的感到窒息 ‐ Well, I feel really suffocated in the closet
你把我推回去的。 that you shoved me back into. ‐ Shh!
你同意的。 [ hushed ] You agreed to this.
是的，我们实际上已经在这里了。 ‐ Yeah, we were practically already here.
你可以 ‐ Can you sh‐‐
请安静。 Please be quiet.
我本来打算 ‐ I was gonna‐‐ I‐‐
如果我知道我同意的那一部分 If I knew that part of what I was agreeing to
你前男友整晚都在外面闲逛， was you hanging out with your ex‐boyfriend all night,
也许我不会。天啊，艾比。 maybe I wouldn't have. ‐ [ sighs ] God, Abby.
我只是觉得我们需要一些空间。 I just‐‐ I feel like we just need some space.
你需要一些空间吗？ ‐ You need some space?
可以。 Okay.
艾比。 ‐ Abby.
[ footsteps stomping ] ‐ Oh.
她步履蹒跚。 She is very heavy‐footed.
亲爱的，我有一份简自愿参加的派对活动清单， Honey, I have a list of party errands that Jane has volunteered to run,
但我不相信她会自己动手， but I don't trust her to do them on her own,
所以我需要你监督。 so I need you to supervise.
可以。 ‐ Okay.
名单很长。 ‐ It's a long list.
可以。 HARPER: [ sighs ] Okay.
[ groans ]
不，不。 ABBY: No, no.
[ phone vibrating ]
嘿。好吧，所以。。。 Hey. JOHN: Okay, so...
我们上次谈话的时候我可能有点主观臆断。 I might have been a little judgmental when we last spoke.
你的处境很不寻常，作为你的朋友， You are in an unusual situation, and as your friend,
我应该给你创造一个安全的空间让你分享 I should have created a safe space for you to share
没有批评的威胁，所以。。。 without the threat of criticism, so...
我很抱歉。 I'm sorry.
我在这里。 I am here.
没有判断力。 No judgment.
怎么回事？ What is going on?
好吧，让我们看看。 ABBY: Well, let's see.
我昨天被商场保安逮捕了， I was arrested by mall security yesterday,
现在哈珀全家都认为我是罪犯。 and now Harper's entire family thinks I'm a criminal.
在她度过了一整晚之后， And after spending her entire night, like,
直到凌晨2点，和她的前男友康纳在一起， until 2:00 in the morning, with her ex‐boyfriend Connor,
她就像一个我几乎认不出来的人。 she's acting like someone I barely even recognize.
我想离开这里，但这会让我付出代价 And I want to just get out of here, but it would cost me
像一千块钱搭便车，还有—— like a thousand dollars to get a ride, and‐‐
这就是为什么我避开圣诞节。 This is why I avoid Christmas.
一切都是最坏的。 It brings out the worst in everything.
我知道这和我无关。我只是觉得很疯狂 I‐I know this isn't about me. I just feel crazy, like‐‐
我要坚持两天吗？ Do I‐‐ It's‐‐ Do I stick it out for two days?
没那么长。 It's‐it's not that long.
但我不知道。I‐ But I don't know. I‐‐
你会怎么做？ What would you do?
休斯敦大学。。。 JOHN: Uh...
休斯敦大学。。。休斯敦大学。。。 Uh... uh...
一、 。。。 I...
非常感谢。 [ quietly ] Thank you.
我要考虑一下。 I'm gonna‐‐ I'm gonna need to give this a think.
我想。 I think.
你好？ ‐ Hello?
[ inhales deeply ]
[ exhales ]
[ exhales sharply ]
[ sighs ]
嘿，嗯。。。 Hey, um...
嘿，我是艾比。 Hey, it's Abby.
你现在在做什么吗？ Are you‐‐ Are you doing anything right now?
谁真的想要一个小甜甜圈工厂？ Who's really gonna want a mini doughnut factory?
呃，这家人。 RILEY: Uh, this family.
我看见他们的两个堂兄弟打架 I saw two of their cousins get in a fistfight
有一次在派对上被一个叫奎萨迪拉的人。 over a quesadilla maker at this party once.
哦，天哪。 [ cell phone chimes ] ‐ Oh, yikes.
一切都好吗？ ‐ Everything all right?
是 啊。 ‐ Yeah.
非常感谢你。它看起来很好。 JANE: Thank you so much. It looks so good.
我是说，看起来不错。 I mean, it‐it looks good.
[ "The First Noel" plays softly over speakers ]
这一切都是为了我。 JANE: This is all for me.
不是的。不是的。 [ chuckles ] It's not. It's not.
我只是开玩笑。 I'm just kidding.
是给我的 It's for my‐‐
是的，我们会 And yes, we'll have‐‐
准备好了吗？ Ready to go?
‐ [ gasps ] [ bottles clatter ]
[ Harper sighs ]
可能没关系。 ‐ It's probably okay.
[ grunts ]
‐ [ Harper gasps ]
[ Harper sighs ]
? playful music ?
哦，别放在那里。 ‐ Oh, do not put that there.
你觉得这是什么，谷仓聚会？ What do you think this is, a barn party?
嘿，各位，请下来！ Hey, everyone, please come down!
简一到我们就要拍这张照片。 We are getting this photo as soon as Jane gets here.
亲爱的，你确定现在是最佳时机吗？ ‐ Honey, are you sure this is the best time?
人们随时都会到达。 People will start arriving any minute.
这是唯一的一次。 ‐ It's the only time.
[ door opens ]
嗨，艾比。 Hi, Abby. ‐ Hi.
哦，我该把这件白象礼物放哪儿？ Oh, where should I put this white elephant gift?
我不知道。在烤箱里？ ‐ I don't know. In the oven?
天啊，艾比，你觉得它会去哪儿？ Jesus, Abby, where do you think it goes?
在那该死的树下。 Under the damn tree.
我很抱歉。 [ sighs ] I'm sorry.
我很抱歉。 I'm sorry.
你可能连圣诞树都没有。 You probably never even had a Christmas tree.
我们每年都举办这个聚会， [ sighs ] We do this party every year,
每年，不管我多早开始计划， and every year, no matter how early I start planning,
我只是觉得毫无准备。 I just feel totally unprepared.
我找不到我的圣诞胸针了。 [ sighs ] And I can't find my Christmas brooch.
你看到了吗？ Have you seen it?
你可以告诉我。 You can tell me.
我不会生气的。 I won't be mad.
我只想知道它是安全的。 I just want to know it's safe.
我没见过。 ‐ I haven't seen it.
可以。 ‐ Okay.
如果它神奇地出现在我的梳妆台上， Well, if it should magically appear on my dresser,
不会有人问任何问题。 there will be no questions asked.
可以。可以。 ‐ Okay. TIPPER: Okay.
‐ [ sighs ] Um...
嘿，特德。 Hey, Ted.
我只是想提一下- I just wanted to mention‐‐
昨天发生的一切完全是误会。 everything that happened yesterday was a complete misunderstanding.
你知道，我永远不会 You know, I would never, ever‐‐
你不需要解释。 You‐you don't‐‐ You don't have to explain.
让我们避免更多的事故，是吗？ Let's just avoid any further incidents, yes?
是 啊。对。可以。 ‐ Yeah. Yes. TED: Okay.
喂，喂，喂。圣诞夜快乐。哦。 ‐ Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas Eve. TED: Oh.
嘿，艾比。嘿。 ‐ [ chuckles ] Hey, Abby. ABBY: Hey.
看看这个小精灵带来了什么。 ‐ Look at what this little elf brought in.
真 的。那是什么？ [ squeals ] ABBY: Wow. What is that?
这是我的杰作。 ‐ This is my masterpiece.
不管是谁选的都会很高兴。 Whoever picks it is gonna be very pleased.
噢，简，我很高兴你在这里。 ‐ Oh, Jane, I'm so glad you're here.
打印机又卡住了。 The printer's jammed again.
哦，好吧。我来处理。 ‐ Oh, okay. I'm on it.
嘿。嘿。 ‐ Hey. ‐ Hey.
你今天做了什么？ What'd you do today?
我刚去买了个白象礼物。 ‐ I just went and got a white elephant gift.
哦。 ‐ Oh.
在城里？ In town?
是 啊。 ‐ Yeah.
你怎么到的？ ‐ How'd you get there?
简到了吗？ ‐ Has Jane arrived yet?
是的，简和他在泰德的办公室。 ‐ Yeah, Jane's in Ted's office with him.
简，特德，现在！ TIPPER: Jane, Ted, now!
很高兴你们两个加入我们。双胞胎在哪里？ Nice of you two to join us. Where are the twins?
他们今晚不想拍照。 ‐ They don't feel like having their picture taken tonight.
‐ [ Tipper sighs ]
哈珀，跟我来。 TIPPER: Harper, come with me.
? 欢快的节日音乐？ ? upbeat holiday music ?
这真的是一个休息 SLOANE: It's really a break from
传统的礼物和进入非凡的行动。 traditional gifting and a move into the extraordinary.
每个人都有自己的船只。 The vessels are curated for each individual.
我们很高兴能集中精力——呃，斯隆 We'd be happy to mindfully assemble‐‐ TED: Uh, S‐Sloane was
在她离家成家之前，她将在公司成为合伙人。 on track to make partner at her firm before she left to start a family.
她是我们的超级妈妈， She's our super mom,
哈珀是我们的动力，还有，呃，简。。。 Harper is our powerhouse, and, uh, Jane...
我是互联网在这所房子里工作的唯一原因。 i‐is the only reason the Internet ever works in this house.
哦。 ‐ [ laughing ] JANE: Aw.
我有路由器的方法。 I have a way with routers.
对不起，大家。 ERIC: Excuse me, all.
呃，双胞胎为你准备了一首歌。 Uh, the twins have prepared a little song for you.
HARPER: Oh.
[ piano playing "Silent Night" ]
‐ ? Silent night ?
? Holy night ?
? All is calm... ?
你在喝什么？ ‐ What are you drinking?
哦，这是一种香料。。。酒精。 ‐ Oh, it's a spiced... alcohol.
恶心。我可以要一些吗？是 啊。 ‐ Gross. Can I have some? ‐ Yeah.
? 妈妈和孩子？ KIDS: ? Mother and child... ?
嗯。所以，普洛特是影子梦想家的领袖。 ‐Mm‐hmm. ‐ So, Plort is the leader of the Shadow Dreamers.
他半人半惊。嗯。嗯。 He's half human, half Quazzle. ‐ Mm‐hmm. Mm‐hmm.
他有一双维格人的眼睛，但有一颗曾格尔的心。 ‐ He's got the eyes of a Verg but the heart of a Zengle.
佛格来自他母亲的身边，世代相传。 The Verg comes from his mother's side, generations back.
如果你想要水疗套餐， SLOANE: If you want the spa package vessel,
你可以做可食用的泡泡浴。对不起，斯隆。 you could do edible bubble bath. ‐ Excuse me, Sloane.
呃，哈里想见见双胞胎。 Uh, Harry wants to meet the twins.
我会找到他们的。可以。 ‐ I'll find them. TED: Okay.
请原谅我。 ‐ Excuse me.
你知道的？事情是，我的父母是如此的依恋 ‐ You know? Thing is, my parents were so attached
对我来说，相信圣诞老人，即使多年过去 to me believing in Santa Claus that even after years go by
我不再相信圣诞老人， and I stop believing in Santa Claus,
他们知道我不再相信圣诞老人， and they knew that I stopped believing in Santa Claus,
我们一直在玩这个游戏。 we just kept that charade going.
他们在这方面的投资让我为他们感到难过，你知道吗？ Their investment in it just made me feel so bad for them, you know?
嗯‐嗯。 ‐ Mm‐hmm.
是 啊。 Yeah.
对他们来说太糟糕了。。。 ‐ Like, so bad for them that...
你知道，我最终还是杀了他们。 you know, that I eventually just murdered them.
听起来很有趣。嗯。 ‐ That sounds fun. ‐ Mm.
可以。 Okay.
发生什么事了？ What is happening?
嘿，伙计们。 CONNOR: Hey, you guys.
康纳，你成功了。 HARPER: Connor, you made it.
你好。圣诞快乐。你好。嘿，伙计们。圣诞快乐。 JANE: Hi. Merry Christmas. Hi. CONNOR: Hey, guys. Merry Christmas.
很高兴见到你。你好。 Good to see you. Hi. ‐ [ Abby sighs ]
圣诞快乐。我不知道。 CONNOR: Merry Christmas. ‐ I don't know.
昨天，我从未感觉到更近了 Yesterday, I'd never felt closer
对另一个人来说，现在我。。。 to another person in my entire life, and now I...
我不认识她。 I don't know her.
我以为她爱我很开心，但我。。。 And I thought she loved me and was happy, but I...
我在这里看到她，她对大家的想法都很害怕， I‐I see her here, and she's so terrified of what everyone thinks,
这让我想知道谁才是真正的哈珀。 and it's just making me wonder who the real Harper is.
你知道的？ You know?
嗯，也许他们都是。 ‐ Well, maybe they both are.
我本来打算明天向她求婚的。 ‐ I was gonna ask her to marry me tomorrow.
嗯，我去给你拿杯真正的饮料。 ‐ Um, I'm gonna get you a real drink.
可以？ Okay?
艾比。 JOHN: [ whispers ] Abby.
艾比！ Abby! [ clears throat ]
对不起的。什么？ Sorry. What?
ABBY: Um...
你好吗？ How are you here?
你什么时候能拿到这个？ ‐ When are you gonna get this?
我一直在跟踪你。 I have been tracking you.
Mm, mm, mm, mm. [ clears throat ]
你好。 ‐ Hello.
你好。 ‐ Hi.
我给小费。 TIPPER: I'm Tipper.
这是我的家。哦。 This is my home. JOHN: Oh.
你是前男友吗？ ‐ Are you the ex‐boyfriend?
对。我是约翰， ‐ [ clears throat ] Y‐Yes. I am John,
艾比的异性恋前男友， Abby's heterosexual ex‐boyfriend,
我是来接她回来的。 and I have come to get her back.
嗯。我懂了。 TIPPER: Mm. I see.
如果知道你要来就好了， Well, it would've been nice to have known you were coming,
但既然你来了，就好好享受吧。 but since you are here, enjoy.
非常感谢你。 JOHN: Thank you so much.
好吧，我搞定了，她真是太棒了。 Okay, I nailed that, and she is fabulous.
你在做什么？ ‐ What are you doing?
刚才那个电话是呼救。 ‐ That phone call earlier was a cry for help.
我是来救你的。请拿好你的东西。 I'm here to rescue you. Please get your things.
‐ [ sighs ]
那是前男友吗？ ‐ Is that the ex‐boyfriend?
‐ [ indistinct conversation ]
哦，天哪。 ‐ [ gasps ] Oh, my God.
我是说，我猜他很帅。I‐ ‐ I mean, I guess he's handsome. I‐‐
我们可以走了吗？ Can we please go?
哈珀。 ‐ Harper.
结束了。 It's over.
我说完了。 I'm done.
我只是想。。。 ‐ I'm just gonna...
各位，请坐。 ‐ Everybody, please take your seats.
我们准备好开始白象了。 We're ready to begin white elephant.
艾比。嘿。 HARPER: Abby. Hey.
我们能谈谈吗？ Can we just talk for a second?
不，我得走了。我-我不能- ‐ No. I got to go. I‐I can't‐‐
我不能再为你这么做了。 I can't do this for you anymore.
但是，呃，圣诞快乐。 But, uh, merry Christmas.
享受你的家庭，享受康纳。 Enjoy your family, and enjoy Connor.
什么？什么？不，我不想要他。 ‐ What? What? No, I don't‐‐ I don't want him.
我不要康纳。 I don't want Connor.
我想要你。 I want you.
那是什么？ ‐ Then what was that?
我不知道。 ‐ I don't know.
你为什么和莱利挤在一个角落里？ Why are you huddled in a corner with Riley?
这些都和莱利无关。 ‐ None of this has anything to do with Riley.
这一切都是因为你，哈珀。 This is all happening because of you, Harper.
你不告诉你父母我们的事是你自己做的。 You not telling your parents about us is a choice that you made.
不是那么简单。你知道有多痛苦吗 ‐ It is not that simple. ABBY: Do you know how painful
一直看着我爱的人选择把我藏起来？ it's been to watch the person that I love choose to hide me?
我没有把你藏起来。我把我藏起来了。 ‐ I am not hiding you. I am hiding me.
可以？ Okay?
我们的一生，我们一直被期待着 Our entire life, we have been expected to be
这些完美的，金童玉女。 these perfect, golden children.
我是说，我们家的爱不是我们免费得到的。 I mean, love in our house wasn't something we just got for free.
这是我们竞争的东西， It is something that we competed for,
如果我们偏离了他们的方向，我们就失去了。 and if we veered off their course, we lost it.
我知道事情搞砸了，好吗？ I‐I know it's messed up, okay?
我明白了。 I get it.
但他们是我的父母， But they're my parents,
我害怕如果我告诉他们我是谁， and I am scared that if I tell them who I really am,
我会失去他们的。 I will lose them.
我知道，如果我不告诉他们，我会失去你。 And I know, if I don't tell them, I will lose you.
我不想失去你。 I don't want to lose you.
嘿，过来。过来。 ‐ Hey, come here. Come here.
不，我不想失去你。不，不。 ‐ No, I don't want to lose you. ‐ No, no.
看看我。过来。看看我。没事的。 Look at me. Come here. Look at me. It's okay.
我不——嘿，停下来。 ‐ I don't‐‐ ‐ Hey, stop.
我不想失去你。你不是。 HARPER: I don't want to lose you. ABBY: You're not.
马蒂尔达和马格努斯。。。 SLOANE: Matilda and Magnus...
如果你想要礼物。。。 TIPPER: If you want a present... [ laughs ]
你最好有个号码。 you better have a number.
啜饮？ ‐ [ clears throat ] 'Sup?
啜饮？ ‐ 'Sup?
还有人吗？ TIPPER: Anybody else?
‐ [ chuckles ]
你打气吗？ ‐ You pump?
我很抱歉？重量。 ‐ I'm sorry? ‐ Weights.
是 啊。 ‐ Oh. ‐ Yeah.
是 啊。 ‐ Yeah.
你呢？是 啊。是 啊。 You? ‐ Yeah. Yeah.
你坐什么板凳？ ‐ What do you bench? ‐ [ sighs ]
一千。一千，再加上。 Thousand. Thou‐Thousand, plus.
好吧。每个人都有你的号码吗？ TIPPER: All right. Everybody have your numbers?
孩子们？斯隆，斯隆，斯隆！ SLOANE: Kids? ‐ Sloane, Sloane, Sloane!
隐马尔可夫模型？是 啊？我们能谈谈吗？ ‐ Hmm? Yeah? ‐ Can we just talk for a sec?
哦，有什么好谈的？你和艾比在一起了 ‐ Oh, what's there to talk about? You and Abby are in
一段浪漫的关系，你一直在撒谎 a romantic relationship, and you've been lying
天知道这件事会持续多久。 to the family about it for God knows how long.
这听起来是对的，还是- Does that sound about right, or‐‐
只是，呃，请不要告诉爸爸妈妈。 ‐ Just, uh, please don't tell Mom and Dad yet.
拜托了，斯隆。 ‐ [ chuckles softly ] ‐ Please, Sloane.
我要在假期后告诉他们。 I'm telling them after the holidays.
‐ [ chuckles ]
撕开它。 Just rip it.
请答应我你什么都不说。 HARPER: Please promise me you won't say anything.
现在时机不好， Now is just very bad timing,
不管怎样，节后我都会告诉他们一切。 and I'm telling them everything after the holidays anyways.
老实说，我为你感到难过。 ‐ Honestly, I feel sorry for you.
妈妈和爸爸会很伤心的 Mom and Dad are gonna be so heartbroken
当他们发现你一直在骗他们。 when they find out you've been lying to them. [ clattering ]
斯隆，如果你等一下。孩子们？ ‐ Sloane, if you‐‐ ‐ [ gasps ] Wait. Kids?
找到你了！ Found you! ‐ [ gasping ]
哦。 HARPER: Oh.
你在开玩笑吧？ ‐ Are you kidding me?
现在还不应该有人知道。 No one's supposed to know yet.
我们达成了协议。 We had an agreement.
我很抱歉。 ‐ I'm sorry.
我想我不是唯一一个有秘密的人。 ‐ I guess I'm not the only one with a secret.
‐ [ Sloane screams ]
真 的。是 啊。 ‐ Wow. ‐ Yeah.
是的，那是-那是-那是好质量。 ‐ Yeah, that is‐‐ That's‐that's good mass.
那是真的。是 啊。谢谢，伙计。 That is solid. ‐ Yeah. Thanks, man.
哦，天哪。它们看起来都很漂亮。 JANE: Oh, my God. They all look so nice.
选吧，简。 ‐ Just choose, Jane. ‐ [ chuckles ]
伊尼，米尼，米- ‐ Eeny, meeny, mi‐‐
我只是开玩笑。 [ laughs ] I'm just kidding.
你不知道别人家里发生了什么， ‐ [ grunting ]
‐ You have no idea what goes on in other people's families,
所以你得闭嘴！ so you need to just keep your mouth shut!
你闭嘴，神经病！ HARPER: You keep your mouth shut, psycho!
我该跑了。是 啊。是 啊。 ‐ I should run. Yeah. ‐ Yeah.
列维。我们应该—— ‐ Levi. [ clears throat ] We should‐‐
呵呵。我想知道这是什么。 JANE: Huh. I wonder what this one is.
艾比，去找圣诞老人。 ‐ Abby, get the Santa. ‐ [ strained grunt ]
我是说你别插手这件事，萨福。 ‐ I mean‐‐ ‐ You stay out of this, Sappho.
我会的 ‐ I would‐‐
‐ [ grunting ]
我不知道这是什么。 ‐ I don't know what this is.
它很大。 It's big. ‐ [ laughter ]
‐ [ grunting, screaming ] ‐ Oh!
喔，喔，喔，喔。 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. ‐ [ gasping ]
哦，天哪。 ‐ Oh, gosh.
来，帮帮我。 Here, help me out here.
这是什么？ What‐what‐what‐‐ Wh‐What is this?
这是一幅大街的画。 ‐ It's a painting of Main Street.
我成功了。 I made it.
我喜欢。 ‐ I love that.
[ clearing throat ]
不！不，不，不！ SLOANE: No! No, no, no!
我要杀了你！ [ screams ] I'll kill you!
我要杀了你！ ‐ [ guests murmuring ] SLOANE: I'll kill you!
你在做什么？女孩们！ TED: What are you doing? TIPPER: Girls!
怎么回事？ What is going on?
是啊，怎么了？ ‐ Yeah, what is going on?
哈珀，你想告诉他们，还是我该告诉他们？ Harper, do you want to tell them, or should I?
别这样，斯隆！为什么？ ‐ Don't, Sloane! SLOANE: Why?
不是时候吗？ It's not good timing?
‐ [ grunts ] ‐ [ guests gasp ]
姑娘们，马上住手！ ‐ Girls, stop that this instant!
来吧，伙计们。把它抱出来。 ‐ Come on, guys. Just hug it out.
闭嘴，简！ BOTH: Shut up, Jane!
别这样，斯隆。 ‐ Don't do this, Sloane.
所有这些都是因为你害怕自己不受欢迎。 ‐ All this because you're scared to not be the favorite.
可怜的。 Pathetic.
斯隆，你在大吵大闹！ ‐ Sloane, you're making a scene!
我是？ SLOANE: I am?
你觉得她这么无辜？ You think she's so innocent?
所有这些都是因为哈珀 All of this is happening because Harper is‐‐
‐ [ guests gasp, scream ]
‐ [ panting ]
哈珀是个女同性恋。 ‐ Harper is a lesbian.
艾比是她的女朋友。 Abby's her girlfriend.
她在撒谎。 ‐ She is lying.
我不是女同性恋。 I am not a lesbian.
斯隆是一个 Sloane is the one that has this big‐‐
不！ [ grunting in frustration ] TED: No!
‐ [ Harper screams ] ‐ [ guests gasping, shouting ]
哈珀！ ‐ Harper! ‐ [ Sloane and Harper screaming ]
住手！该死的，住手！哦，天哪。 ‐ Stop it! Goddamn it, stop it! HARRY: Oh, my.
不！ JANE: No!
够了！ Enough!
‐ [ both panting ]
我花了100个小时在那幅画上，而你。。。 ‐ I put 100 hours into that painting, and you...
你把它毁了就好像什么都没有。 you just destroyed it like it was nothing.
有点事。 It was something.
我很了不起。 I am something.
你猜怎么着。 And guess what.
我喜欢我自己。 I like myself.
也许你们都不喜欢因为我不喜欢。 And maybe you all don't because I'm not fancy.
但不管你喜不喜欢，我是这个家庭的一员， But whether you like it or not, I'm a part of this family,
我再也不会被抛弃了！ and I will not be left out anymore!
不！ ‐ [ screaming ] ‐ No!
‐ [ guests gasping ]
住手，姑娘们！ ‐ Stop it, girls!
现在就住手。 ‐ [ groaning ] TIPPER: Stop this right now.
伙计们，你们继续撕扯！ JANE: Guys, you keep ripping it more!
孩子们，你们在后面干什么？ TIPPER: Kids, what are you doing back there?
像艾比和哈珀阿姨一样玩捉迷藏。 MAGNUS: Playing hide‐and‐seek like Abby and Aunt Harper.
‐ [ sighs, sniffles ]
[ footsteps approaching ]
[ sighs, sniffles ]
艾比？ JOHN: Abby?
‐ [ Abby groans ]
想去散步吗？ ‐ Want to go for a walk?
可以。 Okay.
来吧。 Come on.
我父母喜欢圣诞节。 ABBY: My parents loved Christmas.
我们会做所有的事情。 We would do all the stuff.
我们会装修。。。 We would decorate and...
做圣诞树，看每一部圣诞电影。 do the tree and watch, like, every Christmas movie.
他们死后，我——我真的没法去庆祝圣诞节。 After they died, I‐I couldn't really bring myself to acknowledge Christmas.
隐马尔可夫模型。 JOHN: Hmm.
假期只是一个巨大的提醒。。。 ‐ The holidays were just a huge reminder of...
他们不在这里。 them not being here.
所以我真的认为今年也许。。。 So I really thought maybe this year with...
和哈珀见面，你知道的， with Harper and meeting her family, you know,
只是感觉不一样。 that it would just feel different.
[ sniffles ]
我不认为她。。。 I don't‐‐ I don't think that she...
像我想的那样爱我。 loves me as much as I thought she did.
嘿。 ‐ Hey.
哈珀不去见她父母与你无关。 Harper not coming out to her parents has nothing to do with you.
怎么可能不呢？ ‐ [ trembling ] How could it not?
提醒我，当你告诉你父母你是同性恋时，他们怎么说的？ ‐ Remind me, what did your parents say when you told them you were gay?
嗯，他们爱我，支持我。 ‐ Um, that they loved and supported me.
太棒了。 ‐ That's amazing.
我爸爸。。。 My dad...
把我赶出家门 kicked me out of the house
我告诉他13年后都不说话了。 and didn't talk to me for 13 years after I told him.
每个人的故事都不一样。 Everybody's story is different.
这是你的版本 There's your version
以及我的版本和两者之间的一切。 and my version and everything in between.
但所有这些故事都有一个共同点 But the one thing that all of those stories have in common
就在你说这些话之前， is that moment right before you say those words,
当你心跳加速的时候 when your heart is racing
你不知道接下来会发生什么。 and you don't know what's coming next.
那一刻真的很可怕。 That moment's really terrifying.
一旦你说出这些话， And then once you say those words,
你不能拒绝他们。 you can't unsay them.
一章结束了，新的开始了， A chapter has ended, and a new one's begun,
你必须做好准备。 and you have to be ready for that.
你不能为别人做这件事。 You can't do it for anyone else.
只是因为哈珀还没准备好， Just because Harper isn't ready,
但这并不意味着她永远不会， it doesn't mean she never will be,
但这并不意味着她不爱你。 and it doesn't mean she doesn't love you.
‐ [ sniffles ]
[ sniffles ]
我想和一个准备好的人在一起。 I‐I want to be with someone who is ready.
‐ Mm.
你穿这件外套很好看。 You look great in this coat.
圣诞快乐。非常感谢。非常感谢。 GUEST: Merry Christmas. Thank you. SLOANE: Thank you.
‐ [ quiet chatter ]
在车里等我。 RILEY: Just wait for me in the car.
很棒的派对。 Great party.
是 啊。 ‐ Yeah.
你还好吧？ ‐ You okay?
我很抱歉。 ‐ I'm so sorry.
‐ [ sighs ]
圣诞快乐。 Merry Christmas.
圣诞快乐。 ‐ Merry Christmas.
她真是个好人。 ‐ She's a really good one.
是 啊。 ‐ [ chuckles ] Yeah.
莱利。斯隆。 ‐ Riley. ‐ Sloane.
我很抱歉。 ‐ I'm sorry.
好吧，来吧。我们让你们俩上床睡觉吧。 Okay, come on. Let's get you two to bed.
谢谢你，莱文女士，你能来， ‐ Thank you, Ms. Levin, for coming,
再一次，我为这个场面道歉。 and again, my apologies for the spectacle.
我会打电话给你。 ‐ I'll call you.
今晚到底发生了什么事？ ‐ What the hell happened tonight?
即使是孩子，你也从未表现得如此糟糕。 Even as children, you never behaved this badly.
我对你期望更多，尤其是你，哈珀。 I expected more from you, especially you, Harper.
你知道这个世界是怎么运作的。 You know how this world works.
今晚，我的名誉和名誉都受到了损害。 Reputation is everything, and tonight you jeopardized mine.
简，我知道你-你只是想被包括在内。 Jane, I know you‐you just wanted to be included.
真的很好。 ‐ It was really nice.
斯隆，编造关于你妹妹的谎话。 ‐ Sloane, making up lies about your sister.
你比那更好。 You're better than that.
至少你以前是。 At least you used to be.
对不起，我正在拿我的东西。 ‐ Sorry, I'm‐I'm just getting my stuff.
等等，艾比。 ‐ Wait, Abby.
等待。 Wait.
[ sighs ]
斯隆没有撒谎。 Sloane wasn't lying.
我是同性恋。 I'm gay.
我爱上了艾比。 And I am in love with Abby.
很抱歉我没早点告诉你们， I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner,
但我知道外表和名声对你有多重要， but I know how much appearances and reputation matter to you,
而我做同性恋并没有。。。 and me being gay just didn't...
符合计划。 fit into the plan.
但我。。。 But I...
让我伤害莱利。。。 let myself hurt Riley...
因为我害怕你会发现 ...because I was so scared that you would find out
我不是你想要的那样。 I wasn't who you wanted me to be.
还有。。。 And...
我还是很后悔。 I still regret it.
我不能这样对艾比。。。 I can't do that to Abby... [ chuckles ]
扔掉。。。 [ crying ] ...and throw away...
我们在一起的生活。 ...our life together.
所以我不再害怕了， So I am done being scared,
我不再保守秘密了。 and I am done keeping secrets.
我爱你。 I love you.
埃里克和我要离婚了。 ‐ Eric and I are getting a divorce.
我们几个月前分开了。 We separated a few months ago.
我没有告诉你真相 And the truth is I didn't tell you
因为没有我的家人，我对你毫无价值。 because without my family I'm worthless to you.
为了赢得你的爱， We've spent our entire lives trying to earn your love,
我也完了。 and I'm done, too.
我没有任何秘密，但我是盟友。 ‐ I don't have any secrets, but I am an ally.
[ distant door closes ]
我要走了。 ‐ I'm gonna go.
等待。不，不。 ‐ Wait. No, no.
[ sighing ]
我做到了。 I did it.
‐ Mm‐hmm.
我很抱歉。 I'm sorry.
呃，太晚了。 Uh, it's just too late.
‐ [ sobs softly ]
‐ [ takes deep breath ]
我一直想试试空手道， I have always wanted to try karate,
尽管我知道它不优雅。 even though I know it's not elegant.
我讨厌花。 I hate flowers.
我知道你在做什么。 ‐ I see what you're doing.
我们一直很担心自己看起来很完美。 ‐ We have been so worried about seeming perfect.
但也许我们甚至不知道什么是完美。 But maybe we don't even know what perfect is.
我们有一个女儿 We have one daughter
她在婚姻中很不开心，觉得自己不能告诉我们， who has been unhappy in a marriage and felt like she couldn't tell us,
还有一个女儿。。。 and another daughter who...
只是她心碎了 [ crying ] just had her heart broken
因为她害怕 because she was afraid
如果她告诉我们真相，我们就不会爱她了。 we wouldn't love her if she told us the truth.
还有。。。 And... [ sniffles ]
简没事的唯一原因是我们放弃了她 the only reason that Jane is okay is because we gave up on her
她在幼儿园不停地咬。 after she wouldn't stop biting in preschool.
[ takes deep, gasping breath ]
那就是。。。 That is...
如果你问我的话，还远远不够完美。 very far from perfect, if you ask me.
谢谢。 ‐ Thanks.
我真的很抱歉。 ‐ I'm really sorry.
我知道。 ‐ I know.
我也是。 Me, too.
简，我。。。 And, Jane, I...
对你的画我很抱歉。 I'm so sorry about your painting.
真是太美了。 It was really beautiful.
是的。 ‐ It was.
谢谢，伙计们。 ‐ Thanks, guys.
他只是需要一点时间。 ‐ He just needs a little time.
好吧，听听这些成分： JOHN: Okay, listen to these ingredients:
麦芽糊精， maltodextrin,
自溶酵母提取物， autolyzed yeast extract,
人工色素——红40湖， artificial colors‐‐ Red 40 Lake,
黄6湖，黄6，黄5。 Yellow 6 Lake, Yellow 6, Yellow 5.
因为所有的黄色味道都不一样。 Because all of the yellows taste so different.
你知道吗，我讨厌这种毒药 You know, I am disgusted at the poison
这些公司试图冒充食品。 these corporations try to pass off as food.
谁在看动物？ ‐ Who's watching the animals?
我的治疗师在照顾他们，但我们应该 ‐ My therapist is taking care of them, but we should have
关于鱼的谈话。 a conversation about the fish at some point.
鱼怎么了？ ‐ What happened to the fish?
让我们看看口香糖。 ‐ Let's look at gum.
好吧，我想先说 Okay, so I just want to preface this by saying that
没有人会不同意鱼属于海洋。 nobody would disagree that fish belong in the ocean.
对的？ Correct? [ horn honking ]
艾比。 ‐ Abby.
你是怎么做到的 ‐ H‐How did you even‐‐
我跟踪到你了。约翰教我的。 ‐ I tracked you. John taught me.
我只想回家。 ‐ I just want to go home.
我知道。我只是- HARPER: I know. I just‐‐
拜托，让我这么说。 Please, let me say this.
你是我的家人。 You are my family.
我是说，你是我一生的挚爱。 I mean, you are the love of my life.
我很糟糕。 I was terrible.
我希望我能把所有的事情都撤销， And‐and I wish that I could undo everything,
但我向你保证我会补偿你的。 but I promise you I will make it up to you.
我会用我的余生来补偿你。 I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you.
我不会再这样伤害你了。 And I won't hurt you like this again.
但是请。。。 But please...
再给我一次机会。 give me another chance.
我-我想和你一起生活。 I‐I want to build a life with you.
拜托。 Please.
你父母呢？I‐ ‐ And what about your parents? I‐‐
不，不，我。。。 ‐ No, no, I...
我不在乎他们怎么想。 I don't care what they think.
我只关心你。 I only care about you.
如果我有你，那就是我所需要的。 If I have you, that's all I need.
和我在一起。 Be with me.
? uplifting music ?
‐ [ chuckles ]
? upbeat holiday music ?
所以，影子梦想家 JANE: So, the Shadow Dreamers
被迫站起来对抗侧翼。 were compelled to rise up against Flanks.
因为公然侵犯索菲亚的权利。 JOHN: Because of the blatant Thorfian rights violations.
确切地。 ‐ Exactly.
早上好。 ‐ Good morning.
嘿，早上好。圣诞快乐。你好。 ‐ Hey, morning. Merry Christmas. ‐ Hi.
早晨。嘿，妈妈。 ‐ Morning. HARPER: Hey, Mom.
你好。你好。 ‐ Hi. ‐ Hi.
你睡得怎么样？ ABBY: How'd you sleep?
他下来了吗？ ‐ Did he come down?
不，还没有。 ‐ No, not yet.
所有人。 SLOANE: Everyone.
去吧，孩子们。 Go ahead, kids.
我们把项链放在艾比的包里。 ‐ We put the necklace in Abby's bag.
我们很抱歉。 MAGNUS: We're sorry.
非常感谢。 ‐ Thank you.
我们现在可以打开袜子了吗？ ‐ Can we open our stockings now?
对。走吧。 ‐ Yes. ‐ Let's go.
[ footsteps approaching ]
呃，我几乎把我们所有的积蓄都花光了 ‐ Uh, I have sunk almost all of our savings
参加这次竞选。 into this campaign.
因为我想，如果我赢了， Because I thought, if I won,
你们都会为我骄傲的。 you'd all be proud of me.
我们已经为你骄傲了。 ‐ We're already proud of you.
我们不在乎你赢不赢。 ‐ We don't care if you win.
是 啊。 ‐ Yeah.
钱不重要。 And the money doesn't matter.
当我卖书的时候，我会照顾我们所有人。 When I sell my book, I'll take care of all of us.
我爱你，姑娘们。 ‐ I love you, girls.
我很抱歉让你这么想 And I'm sorry for making you think
任何东西都会妨碍你的。 that anything could ever get in the way of that.
我想做得更好， I want to do better,
这需要时间，但我只想要你 and it will take time, but all I want for you
就是找到同样的快乐和幸福 is to find the same joy and happiness
你给我的，不管它来自哪里。 that you have given me, no matter where it comes from.
‐ [ Tipper chuckling ]
JANE: Aw.
TED: Mm. ‐ [ women laughing ]
[ "O Holy Night" instrumental playing ]
哇！ ‐ Whoa!
微笑。 ‐ Smile.
微笑。 Smile.
‐ Aw. [ camera clicks ]
你以为我不知道该怎么做，是吗？ ‐ You didn't think I knew how to do that, did you?
我——真是令人印象深刻。 ‐ I‐‐ It's impressive.
? ?
你好？圣诞快乐，特德。 ‐ Hello? HARRY: Merry Christmas, Ted.
梅里——我马上就来。 ‐ Merry‐‐ HARRY: I'll get right to it.
我喜欢你。我想你也能赢， I like you. I think you can win, too,
不仅仅是这次选举。 and not just this election.
谢谢你，莱文女士。等等。有一个“如果” ‐ Thank you, Ms. Levin. HARRY: Hold on. There's an "if."
我不知道斯隆昨晚的揭露是不是真的， Now, I don't know if Sloane's revelation last night was true,
但如果是。。。 but if it is... [ sighs ]
哈珀可以采取“不问不说”的政策 and Harper can adopt a "don't ask, don't tell" policy
关于她的私生活， regarding her private life,
我想我们可以做生意。 I think we could be in business.
你说呢？ What do you say?
好？ ‐ Well?
不会成功的。 ‐ It's not gonna work out.
哦。 ‐ Oh.
我们会想办法的。 ‐ We'll figure something out.
太好了，等等，过来。 TIPPER: Great, so‐‐ Wait, come over here.
可以。我在哪里？在这里？你搬过去。 TED: Okay. Where am I? Here? TIPPER: You move there.
是的，好吧。可以。嗨，亲爱的。正确的。 TED: Yeah, okay. Okay. TIPPER: Hi, honey. Right.
嗯，简，你在中间。 Um, Jane, you get in the middle.
是 啊。 ‐ Yeah.
就在那里。 ‐ [ chuckling ] ‐ Right there.
约翰，你介意吗？ TIPPER: John, would you mind?
哦，我会很高兴的。 ‐ Oh, I would be delighted.
可以。 Okay.
艾比，你在那边干什么？ ‐ Abby, what are you doing way over there?
进来。来吧。 Get in here. ‐ Come on.
‐ [ laughter ]
可以。每个人都说“圣诞节” ‐ Okay. Everyone say, "Christmas."
不，别这么说。 ‐ No, don't say that. ‐ [ Abby laughs ]
[ "Make You Mine This Season" by Tegan and Sara playing ]
[ camera clicks ]
? Somebody broke your heart ?
? Under a Christmas tree... ?
“一旦他们越过了科尔瓦尔峡谷， JANE: "Once they cross Corvall Chasm,
“他们将进入弗洛姆地区。 "they will enter floam territory.
“影子梦想家们知道他们可能并不都能做到 "The Shadow Dreamers know they might not all make it out
“他们的磷虾完好无损， "with their Krindoll intact,
但是整个索菲亚人的比赛都是靠他们的肩膀。 "but the entire Thorfian race rests on their shoulders.
“他们互相看了看，然后进入了黑暗。 "They look to each other and then into the darkness.
是格兰克迈出了第一步。” It is Glank who takes the first step."
‐ [ cheering ]
干得好。非常感谢你的到来。 ‐ Here you go. Thank you so much for coming.
非常感谢。 MAN: Thank you.
再见。你好。 JANE: Bye. ‐ Hi.
你好。我们在那儿见你？ JANE: Hi. ‐ We'll meet you there?
对。是的，是的，是的。 ‐ Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
可以。是的，当然。 ‐ Okay. ‐ Yeah, you bet.
太棒了。再见。 ‐ That was awesome. ‐ Bye.
你好。你好。 ‐ Hi. ‐ Hi.
哦。一次两个。哦。 ‐ Oh. Two at a time. ‐ Oh.
啊！哦，我的话。这是一场猛攻。 ‐ Aah! ‐ Oh, my word. ‐ It's an onslaught.
? ?
? Make you mine, make you mine this season ?
? Bells ring out on the street ?
? Snow falling at our feet ?
‐ [ indistinct chatter ]
? Lights glowing in the trees ?
? Will you dance with me? ?
? Have I been good enough ? ‐ [ Sloane laughs ]
? To ask for your love? ?
? You're the only girl I've got on my list ?
? I write your name, I know it's foolish ?
? But I chase the feeling 'cause you keep me dreaming ?
? That I could make you mine, make you mine this season ?
? I put a star on the top of my tree ?
? I just want to make you mine ?
? Its light is gonna lead you straight to me ?
? I just want to make you mine. ?
[ song fades ] [ "Think of Christmas" by Anne‐Marie begins ]
? When I think of Christmas ?
? I think of you ?
? Remember the snow angels ?
? Unorthodox anecdotes ?
? About how it's never home ?
? Hmm, unless you're here ?
? Don't matter how deep the snow ?
? Don't matter how cold it goes ?
? I've already made it home ?
? Hmm, because you're here ?
? Still at the kids' table even though we're grown ?
? Hands on my kneecap underneath the table ?
? We got a secret only you and me know ?
? But they know 'cause ?
? A love like ours comes with the brightest of halos ?
? Yeah, they know ?
? That when I think of Christmas ?
? I think of you and me and a classic kiss ?
? Modern love is what it is ?
? When I think of Christmas ?
? I think of nothing more, nothing to do ?
? Unwrap myself in front of you ?
? When I think of Christmas ?
? I think of you ?
? Rewriting my memories ?
? Creating new history ?
? And the season feels new to me ?
? Huh, because you're here ?
? Still at the kids' table even though we're grown ?
? Hands on my kneecap underneath the table ?
? We got a secret only you and me know ?
? But they know 'cause ?
? A love like ours comes with the brightest of halos ?
? Yeah, they know ?
? That when I think of Christmas ?
? I think of you and me and a classic kiss ?
? Modern love is what it is ?
? When I think of Christmas ?
? I think of nothing more, nothing to do ?
? Unwrap myself in front of you ?
? When I think of Christmas ?
? I think of you ?
? When I think of Christmas ?
? I think of you. ? [ song ends ]
? joyous holiday music ?
? ?
[ "Jingle Bells" instrumental plays ]
? ?
[ music ends ]